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wasting/wishing days away


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I am so tired of wishing my days away...


Been BU for 2.5 months, was in LC and I had to go NC, it's been 10 dayscept, UHG!!! How do we let one person shake us to our core? I am at the lowest weight I have ever been, exhausted mentally from wondering why and not sleeping but wishing I can so it will be tomorrow and another day to add to my NC!!!


I have taken up new hobbies that I love, ballroom dancing, hot yoga etc. Since our break up I am opening a new business (actually 2) I go out on occasion and see mutual frinds and I am the life of the party in front of everyone then go home and cry because I am lonely, so I read inspirational books all night long, go to church (never done that before) and pretend everyday I am GREAT! I am faking it til I make it, but my question is, will I make it?


It seems everything is going right except this constant heartache, lump in my throat and an emptiness I can't explain. I am a strong independent woman in all aspects of my life until this, it's thrown me for a loop, is it ego? loneliness? boredom socially? love, like I thought?


I miss laughing with him, holding his hand, his terrific smile, just his touch or his hug to make a bad day perfect!



I have learned to be by myself and been ok I guess, I just can't seem to get past this...


just a rant I guess, thank you for reading, any advice is appreciated](*,)](*,)

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Of such matters I do not know.


maybe listen to:


"Last Train Home" by Lost Prophets


It is natural to build a bond with a male so the child survives infancy. However humans are designed for some infidelity.


But don't let this be a dealbreaker. There could be other people for a relationship. But I have no knowledge of such things. Such Irony is intense, changes us.


Dunno it opened me up to philosophy and evolutionary theory so now I kinda get some of the stuff in the world. Could help you.

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I have post, dont know where, I am confused always! Bottom line we dated 6 months, (shortest relatinship ever) but I fell hard, thought he did to since he told me so and literally out of no where he said he loves to be , i am beautiful, sexy, smart yada yada yada BUT I am not ready willing or able for a relatinship right now!

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This was my first post....new here and need advice, Started dating a wonderful guy in August 2007, we immediately had a connection, spent alot of time together traveling, meeting families, mutual friends etc., dated for 6 months, and that BAM he decided he was going to be selfish (his words) and dumped me! Out of the blue, never saw it coming, says he is to busy, not ready willing or able for a relationship right even though I am beautiful smart and he loves to be around me. It's been since March 3rd and he bought me a very expensive necklace (heart with a chain) after the break up! what is that, who does that? we have had LC and went to lunch last week (my invite) after not seeing eachother for 8 weeks, lunch was as if we never skipped a beat, then back to LC, asked for a dinner date, he accepted for Sat night, does he want to be friends? why would he accept if not interested? wh did he dump me out of NO WHERE? we had just come back from a week long trip, we had future plans, he said he loved me days before! why am I asking him out? why is he accepting? WTH!!!

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