Dateing some one after a 8 year LTR is hard

[guyncarync]

Hi every one wanted to post this out here and see what you think. I only have one person in my life from the past was a 8 year LTR and has been over 3 years now and now dateing a few here and there I can say now very hard to see things the same way I did. I know you can't replace what you had from the past but no one seems to be on the same line I am with I start seeing them. The one I am currently in now has been on going 6 months now, and we seem to hit a bump in the road, the same issues has came up from what had in the 8 year one lack of communcation,I have talked this over with the one I am seeing advised him you have to be able to communcate or things will just get lost like it did 3 years ago.

Jelousley seems to be the thing here. And trust is now back in the picture in the past I was wa to trusting to the other person not this time around.

I have called this person on several things I has come to my attention and we have to to thistake the month of december and then in january see what we ant to do, so tired of putting so much into relatinsionships these days and not getting any thing back in return. Concerned what do I do.

[The Morrigan]

Hey - I'm sorry, I'm having a bit of a hard time understanding what you're looking for input on here.

 

You're involved in a relationship now, and starting to see some of the same communication and jealousy issues that ultimately caused trouble in your previous relationship? Sometimes getting a good rapport with someone new can be difficult when we're accustomed to someone else's style of communicating, and what they do and don't respond to. In other words, the way you may have learned to avoid approaching your ex is a way your current gf may be more receptive to. Try sitting down and instead of talking about actual issues - ask her how she's comfortable approaching issues to talk ABOUT.

 

Everyone carries a little bit of baggage with them from previous relationships - she will as well, and sometimes it's hard to decide what's experience, and what's something you can't really use in regards to a new person. You're still only months into this relationship, so now would be a good time to start getting a better handle on what she will and won't respond to openly, and what will make her close up. As you know, the closing up and pulling away ultimately leads to trust and jealousy problems, because you can feel when someone's holding back, and don't know the reason.

 

Use the time you're taking a break to think about the way both you and she usually approach things, and try to think of ways that are different from that - and then discuss them with her. It might be a reassurance in itself to her that you're concerned and care enough about the relationship to try to work with her, and that certainly can't hurt your efforts!