Fiancee's husband trying to cause trouble..advice?

[ptigger]

My fiancee' of 3 months is in an abusive relationship with her husband. He has hit hurt, controls her, and lies to her all of the time. She was stationed overseas in Italy (where I am right now until Feb), where I met her through my best friend. She told me shortly after we met that she was not used to nice guys, as all of her previous relationships had abused her. She filed for divorce, had papers drawn up, signed them, and sent them to him to sign and turn in. He told her that he had, and when she told me this, I confessed to her that I really liked her, but didn't want to do anything about it since she was married at the time. She told me that she had feelings for me as well, that no one had ever treated her as nice as I had, and we decided to try out a relationship. Everything went great, and one night, I proposed to her, which she accepted with "yes, of course!", and we made love that night. She is now out of the military, and went back home to try to get custody of her little girl so they can move to Maine with me next month. Well, upon arriving home, she discovered that he had lied about the paperwork, and never turned it in. So, she was technically still married. She told me last night that she is pregnant with my child, and that her husband found out, and is now threatening to take her custody of her little girl away, unless she drops the divorce.

I worry for her because he has hit her in the past, especially when he has been drinking ( a regular occurrence from what I hear), and b/c of his vice, he cannot be capable of caring for a little baby girl of 1 1/2 years. The daughter has been living with him back in the States, and he was supposed to bring her to Italy (where my fiancee' was stationed), shortly after she got here. He called a few days before they were supposed to come and said he simply "wasn't coming", which denied her the ability to see her daughter, which caused my fiancee' intense emotional stress/grief.

Aside from the suspected spouse abuse, I also have reason to believe (from listening to my fiancee' talking on the phone with her husband while I was in the room) that he has neglected the child, left her in the care of incompetent family members who incapacitate themselves regularly with alcohol, and threatened to beat my fiancee up so bad she wouldn't be able to work for a month, when she got back home.

I can't very well go to military legal, as they could take me to "Mast" (Nonjudicial punishment) in which I would probably lose pay grade, and have a permanent mark on my record. If necessary, however, I won't think twice about having the mark on my record or the loss in pay...for the sake of the children.

My fiancee is worried about seeking legal counsel as her husband has "everyone in his pocket" in the community they live in.

Does anyone have any advice, please?

[sisterlynch]

She'll have to work things out with him. You cannot really undo the problems that she has caused by her conduct and lack of forsight. She should be able to give up her place in the military to go back home and tie up the strings that she has left untied. She probably shouldn't mention you or the pregnancy to others until the divorce is finalized.

[needhelp]

whats happened with this?