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You have to take care of you first, not him. So try not to feel badly that he's been hurt in the past, it wasn't you, it's not your fault.


I'll not comment on his loser status, that is an opinion that we each form of another based on our interactions with them. But you seem intent on the fact he's not right for you, and there are things he's done and is doing that you don't approve of, so it sounds you've made the intellectual decision that it's over. The emotional side of you still wants him, so there's a big conflict within you.


Having thought that you may have some disorder probably means you don't. Recognizing the fact he's wrong for you and you've realized doesn't necessarily mean it's easy to move on. You're having a tough time with it.


Am I correct in thinking that you're asking us to help give you whatever you think it takes to not pick up the phone and call him? If that's the case, and you really don't want to call him, just don't. Find some dsitractions, talk to family and friends. Be with people, not on a romantic level, but on a friendship level.


Maybe you could send him a letter or card explaining that it can't be and you don't want to contact him. I don't know if that would give you more of a sense of closure or not.


I hope this is the kind of thing you wanted to hear and I haven't got it all wrong!!

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