Please read this

[someguy999]

Hey everybody, I'm new here. Anyways... My girlfriend of 1 year broke up with me this week, tuesday to be exact. Our 1 year anniversary was this past Saturday and my birthday is in a week. I don't really understand it all, because I know she doesn't have another guy or isn't feeling something for another guy, but let me just explain how I feel, and what she has been saying to my friends / putting up on her instant message profile. First off, we've been through a lot, and have a very mature relationship. I almost ended up breaking up with her on Sunday, but she wanted to work towards getting better, because I thought the problem was with her, and I still believe it is. I think this whole thing is very good for both of us, we both get time and space to see if we really are meant for each other, or if somebody else is. We both gave each other so much love and we were talking about marriage and a family, but she ended up breaking it off tuesday, 2 days after she had cried and begged for me to stay with her and she said "I don't know if i could go on without you..." Well I know that's not true, because she very well can go on without me and she is right now. We haven't talked since the breakup, tuesday afternoon, at all. She has put up some kind of awkard things on aol, she doesn't talk directly to me, but it makes me feel bad sometimes, almost guilty like i want to call her. Keep in mind she broke up with me. The other night she had an away message that was like " and "Is this what it feels like when a toy's batteries run dry?"... I don't think it's very fair to broadcast stuff like that, especially when she knows i'll see it, but anyways I don't take it to heart, and I try to see past those. We've broken up in the past, and she ended up calling me like 4 days afterwards saying i made a mistake and i want to be back together all that junk, and we were so happy with each other. I think if she called me and wanted it back again I'd probably tell her not yet, that's why it doesn't hurt me as much as some of you guys, because I'm really trying to move on, but last time she did it, it really did hurt. She asks my friends how I'm doing, avoids contact with me though, and my friends are always like "yeah he's doing really well" and they ask how she's doing and she's always like "bad" or she'll send emails to them that are like " to describe her mood. I don't want to over-analyze, or analyze these things she does, because I don't know how she feels and I don't want to get hopes up. I just want to know what you all think about this, we live accross the street from each other, so it's extremely hard, and I don't know what's going to happen. Please give me some insight on what you think is going on, oh btw she broke up with me because "we weren't getting along lately" and i said i thought we were gonna try and work and that, and she said "we already have and have been trying..." but she was crying when she broke up with me... so i don't really know, but the feeling i get is that she's upset like i am, but I don't know.

[diverp]

I can feel exactly the same thing going on when I was with my ex and having problems. We just actually had our 1 year aniversary about a month ago. I can remember in the past about how there were a couple of times when I was ready to move on (we had an on again off again relationship). Then she would get me back into the relationship. However, I was getting some peace of mind. This last time, she is the one who broke it off and I feel like crap and depressed. I think it goes to the whole "who dumped who" thing. It is always a little easier for the person doing the dumping to move on and feel in control. In my case, she has to have the last word in. So before I can try to communicate with her and try to get some reasoning behind things, she says she doesn't want me to contact her, CASE CLOSED. That wasn't very fair, but it is how she wanted it. I think we went from me being upset in the relationship and her being happy with it to her being upset with it and me being unhappy with it. We just were never in synch with each other that way lately. And when you get to this point, communication is probably just gone out the window. I tried to open lines of communication but it didn't work, just made things worse. So, I would always try to communicate (whether now or in time), but just letting things hang and bother you is not a very healthy way to go, I don't think.