winningsmile

Ok so its been 6 weeks today. 6 weeks that we last saw each other and 6 weeks since i have heard from you. I sent you a email saying to get in touch but you never answered. I knew you were ill but thought i could help you but i cant can I? Because you are stuck in grief. You got divorced from your wife 13 years ago but still want to know why?!! She has moved on and is getting married again. You said that she doesnt even answer your txt messages. Why should she? Its been 13 years for god sake. There is no reason for her to keep in contact with you unless she wanted too. She has moved on. You are living in the past. It was unfair of you to get get involved with me. You sent me so many txt messages saying i love you i love you but now that i am returning to the person that i was before i met you i can see that you were trying to convince yourself that you did. You are 56 years old. Please get some help or you will end up a sad lonely old man. And that pains me because i wish you no ill feeling. I wish you happiness and contentment only. To lose someone you love and know that they are still alive is one of the most painful things anyone of us can go through. I know because i am going through it right now but after 6 weeks of NC i am beginning to heal but for you to still be in that state after 13 years? Well i cant imagine how you are handling it except to say maybe you have shut down? Built a wall so thick around your feelings that not even you can bash it down. Oh sometimes maybe a little bit of cement falls away to let the sunshine in and maybe i was that sunshine for 8 months but the wall is always waiting to be repaired. I am so tempted to build a wall too but i am not going too because i want to be loved cuddled and desired because i deserve all those things and more and so do you. But you have to get professional help or else the pattern will just keep repeating itself and you will do it all over again with someone else. I think i will love you always but there is so much room left in my heart for more love from someone else. xx