smallexy

some days are good- some days are bad..today is a really bad day and I miss him....i know it stupid to try and figure out his actions but sometimes i just cant help myself...i wonder if i ever cross his mind- does he miss me at all- i remember when we were on speaking terms he would say he use to think about me all the time while he was out with his new girl..i wonder if that still happens...his absolute refusal to contact me ..is so weird- cant help but feel really used right now- but i guess by tomorrow I'll be over this feeling..i wish i could stop thinking about him though...its as if he never leaves me mind! this healing process is so annoying its like a never ending roller coaster!

thats the ironic part- i am doing all the things that come with enjoying my single life..I am involved in numerous hobbies-my friends and I go out and have fun- i dont even talk much about it..because I think it will give me too much depressed thoughts..but when I have time alone- it comes to haunt me..and it hurts like hell- esp the part of him not contacting me at all- its almost as if he never cared! ....

so after a few weeks of reading _ have decided to finally post something..its ben 9 weeks and its till hurts like the first day- why? I have never been this sappy in my life... Story goes like this..boy meets girl...boy likes girl and girl likes boy so they get together but are not in a relationship 'officially' according to conventional standards....boy gets tired of the arrangement and finds another girl to be with.... Ok so I am the first girl..and I had come to terms with the fact that he entered a new relationship which was cool because I recognized where I fell short in certain areas..so I attempt to be friends- let him know the hard feelings were minimal but that we had gone through too much together to just let everything go.... he responded eventually and seemed to really regret what had happened and how he hurt me... skip to two weeks later- he disppears...cant explain everything because of time constraints but basically he moved from living two doors away and disppared- I have no means of contacting him- its been five weeks since! Am I an idiot waiting in vain for him to call -to contact- I check my emails daily - i wait on my pphone to ring- I feel like such a punk! its kinda obvious he doesnt care enuff to even contact me- so why cant i get over him and get him out of my mind? please help..