aha

I think only the decent women with big hearts appreciate that.

hi aha

I think it's great that you are able to talk comfortably about your feelings!

 

disenchantid

I just don't know how some people can go through life not knowing certain things.

I had so many questions for her, but, they all went unanswered.

As funny as it seems, I do express my feelings when I'm alone. I've come to many conclusions about her also that way. because she won't answer anything.

I know I need to move on. As of 2:00 pacific time, I have started the no conact thing. I did tell her she would never hear from me again. And my last words to her was that I do care about her very much. but of course everything went unanswered.

I just don't think she gets it. I honestly think she will move on and not learn from our mistakes and make the next person suffer. I also think that maybe nobody has tried to fight for her before. She was maried, but, I don't think she tried to save that one either

I know I have learned alot from this experience and I can walk away knowing I honestly tried to put up a fight for her.

Two weeks ago today my world was crushed. The girl I loved and cared for broke my heart and told me that she needed some time to sort out her feelings for another guy. Although, now she said it was supposed to be temporary, I knew deep down that things would never be the same.

I pleaded with her, I tried to make her see that I really cared about her. She would'nt take my calls. Eventualy she did,but that conversation went no where. Meaning I layed my heart on the line and she didnt even reciporcate. I read somewhere on this site,

"You have to be able and ready to walk away if the person doesnt reciprocate your feelings "

That quote has been stuck in my head evry since.

As time went on, I realized that maybe she doesnt care about me like she said she did.

If you see my other post "I dont get it", I contacted her today to get something. One thing led to another and all of the sudden it was a bash fest.

My problem with this whole thing is, I don't think she can talk about her feelings unless it's in an angry way. Thats the only time I really get any feedback from her. She usually ignores my comments i make about my feelings in IM.

You women out there might be a little shocked that a guy likes to talk about his feelings. I was married for 12 years. I've dated a few people in the last year or so, and none of them liked to discuss the way they feel. I like to think I learned from my mistakes in the past and one of them was not communicating.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. I guess I just needed to vent for a little while.

Thanks

I agree, it was driving me crazy a couple of weeks ago when she didnt want to speak on the phone.

i usually get annoyed when someone tries to avoid resolving conflict by not talking. i tend to think and analyze a lot, so the longer the silence grows, the angrier i become.

hey thanks everybody. I did send her a message telling her that I was sorry. It's probably a moot point by now. We both got caught up in the moment and said some harsh things. i could kick myself sor stooping to that level.

I already decided last week that this was probably never going to work. And i was going to move on. Thats why i sent the message asking for my stuff.

Thanks

I was in no contact for about a week until today. I sent a simple nice email to my ex asking for something she had of mine.

Well, before I knew it and after a few emails she starts attacking me. Insult after insult. I just don't understand how she could be so angry with me. After all she's the one who broke it off.

I just don't get it. She is almost 9 years younger than me. i'm thinking she has a lot of growing up to do.

Why do people do this? My girlfriend is 27. once she told me that she need the time alone, she would NOT take my calls or answer any relationship questions. Which leaves me to believe that she didnt really care about me, like I thought she did.

I have learned I need to move on now. But I was just wondering. Maybe it's because she's only 27 and I'm 36?

Chip

 

Of course, you need answers to your questions, but you have to accept that she might not be willing to give those at the moment, or any time in the future.

 

 

With my situation, I would have thought she would realize what she lost. Everything was great (so I thought) up until she saw her ex one day., The very next day she told me she needed time to sort out her feelings.

Then wouldnt answer my phone calls, emails, etc...

Now I realize that maybe I was just her rebound guy. and she really didnt love me.

To a-ha and healing,

 

 

 

 

When we finally do let go even if it does not matterand will not later or ever again, will our exes ever realize what they lost?

 

Even if they found the "grass greener on the other side" of the fence?

Healing,

I couldnt say it better myself. I recently started no contact for the same reasons. There was nothing more to say. I told her it was time I let her go.

Thanks. It's hard. But I'll keep doing what I'm doing. I have a quote from somebody on here. It says " You can't make somebody miss you" If I contact her, then maybe I won't give her a chance to miss me.

I was thinking about sending her a card in a month or so. Just to let her know I was thinking about her.

Hi Aha,

 

Dont contact her.

 

let her see what she is misssing.

 

Maybe in time she will see that you are the one she loves. If not then you have to move on.

 

I wish you the best of luck

 

slbg

Another thing. I always see her online status as "online" in IM. Does that mean she wants me to contact her? I'm afraid if I do, I might be setting myself up to get dissappointed.

I know how you feel. I was stood up one time and I tried calling this girl for three days. I was thinking maybe she got hurt on the way to our date.

She finally called me. She said I offended her that day. Which I don;t recall.

Anyway....

I'm sure she's ok, she's probably just taking some time.

Have you tried to contact any of her friends or relatives?

I'm on day 3 of no contact. It SUCKS! I want to pick up the phone or send an email soo badly.

I find my self checking my email every chance I get thinking she'll send something.

With time I suppose I'll get through this.

You sound like a really good hearted person. I wish my last girlfriend would have opened up to me like you have with your guy.

My girl friend broke it off with me almost two weeks ago. We have been in contact, mostly IM (She won't answer her phone) and It's been me telling her how I feel usually with no response back or like i never typed it in IM.

I sent her an email last night asking one question. It wasnt that bad, but, now were on this no contact thing which I should have done in the beginning.

I'm just wondering if she needs her space? or if I just pushed her too far away with all of the post breakup feelings stuff.

BTW, I love this site. It has helped soo much!

Thanks for the words. Another thing that really gets me is I'm forced to tell her how I feel in IM and she doesnt respond to any of my felings.

I told her from the beginning that IM is not the way to express feelings. but she doesnt get it.

I think I'm just fooling myself into thinking that there may be a chance for us.

I posted on here last week when my world was torn apart. Anyway here's the thing.

She broke it off with me last week two a couple of days before my birthday. I told her last week that we shouldn't contact each other until she knows what she wants. Keep in mind I love this girl and do want her back. But she won't answer her phone, I get the voice mail every time. She won't call me. But she'll Instant message me all day, every day.

I think I need to tell her to stop IMing me and pick up the phone. Today I was kind of ignoring her and she just threaten to not talk to me again.

What do you think? Should I tell her to stop and when she's ready to talk to pick up the phone?

Thanks

I want to thank you both or responding. This has been one of the worst weks of my life, but, I feel much better now.

I told her today there will be no contact until she's ready. So, who knows.

Thanks!!!

Your'e right, I need to walk away. but it's so hard to do that. Especially when she says this only temporary. She says she wants to be over this guy so bad. and she thought she was until she saw him. Apparently he was abusive.

Thank for you advice. I really appreciate it.

I've been dating a women for about thre months now. She had a relationship last year of and on with this other guy. I met her after they broke up.

When we first started dating, this guy was bothering her and harasing her. She told to stop and he did.

We have been toghether since January and everything was going great until last weekend she saw this guy at a place they used to frequent.

She called me the next day and told me what happened and immeidly told me she needed some alone time to figure everythgin out. She said she was overcome with so much emotion when she saw this guy that feels like she was betraying me and she didnt want to do that.

I really love this girl and I didnt tell her that until all of this exploded. I'v been talking to her off and on this week, althohgh it's really hard.

My question is, what do i do? I don;t know if she really loves me. She hasnt said so, she said she cares about me and think this is the best thing for me. I told her most people don;t know what they have until they lose it. UI knew what I had and still lost it. She told me I didnt lose her. She just needs time to get over the feelings she has for this other guy.

What do I do? Do I wait?