positivity16

I love that we are finally able to talk without my emotional nonsense getting in the way. It feels great to have moved on so far that I am at this point. I still think about you quite a bit, though. I am still crazy about you, and I want to talk to you almost every day. I realize that you still need your space to get your life back together and to continue grieving from your loss. I can tell that you are making tons of progress, though, and I am happy to hear about all of the things you are doing to stay busy. It warms my heart to know that you are finally able to begin moving on from the pain that you must have been feeling. I still wish that I was able to help you in some way, but I respect your choice to let me go and take care of things on your own terms. Though we are occasionally communicating, I am struggling to continue giving you the space that I'm sure you need, though you haven't directly asked for it. I don't want to push things too far too fast; don't want to suffocate you. I'd like to hear from you more often, but I fear that is too much to ask right now. I want to do this reconciliation thing the right way, which means posting here instead of talking to you, though I don't want anything more at this moment than to hear from you. I don't want you to know how tough this is for me to handle at times, but sometimes I wish you knew the amount of effort I have been putting into doing things the right way with you. I still wish only the best for you, and if this doesn't work out for whatever reason, then just know that I will always be grateful that I met you and that I have been lucky enough to be a part of your life.

You're still on my mind every day! So much that I can't focus on anything else. I hate this, giving you space. Don't you see that I could help you get through this? Don't you think that maybe God brought us together in the first place so that you would have something positive to hold onto, a shoulder to cry on, while you're going through all of this? Instead, you pushed me away, and now you're just stringing me along. It's killing me that you're depressed and that you've shut me out and won't let me be there for you in the ways that I would like to be. You don't see it now, through your grief, but I know that my presence in your life would do you a great deal of good. I've started praying for you on a daily basis, and it's funny because neither of us is very religious! I pray that you'll get through this tough time, and that you have found healthy ways to cope. I pray that you are taking care of yourself, because we both know how little you care about yourself when you would rather be helping others. I pray that you aren't ready to let me go for good. I pray that someday you will come back to me. I pray that I will have the strength, the patience, and the understanding to continue giving you the time that you need.