ZenPhoenix

Anna - I wish I could tell you how your three word email to me last night made me feel, but telling me "I love you" doesn't tell me what you want to do! I need to either have you in the relationship or out. Hell, we BOTH need that. We've both apologized for our respective contributions to the fight that led to you telling me you were done with this, and I hope we both learned a bit more about each other in the aftermath. And that's the problem. Telling me that you love me just doesn't cut it. I need to know what you want to do. You know that I want you in my life, and that I'm committed to doing what we need to do to bring you here as my wife, BUT...I also need to start healing from this loss if you are indeed walking away from what we've worked so hard to build. And you need to heal as well, because I DO know how much this is hurting you too. I miss you so damn much...I replay the sound of your laugh, the glint in your eyes, and the warmth of your smile...your accent (which has always turned me on, by the way ), and it just makes the tears start to roll. I would tell you how I'm torn apart and gutted, but I think you already know because you're feeling it yourself. I can wait, and will wait for a time, and in silence. However, I can't and won't wait forever...I want to work through the issues we face together, and as a team - you know I do. I hope when I look at my Inbox in the morning is the message from you that brings us down one road or the other - we can't stay in this painful state of limbo forever. I love you...