necolle13

Well, I actually ended up calling my ex last night. I talked to him about my problems with my boyfriend, and he said, "Like I told you a year ago, you need to move home....." I think I came to the conclusion, from everything we talked about, that I do need to go home. Not for my ex, but for me. My dreams are not the same dreams as my boyfriend now. This some what distrubs me, because he new from the get go that I wanted to get married and have kids, and I told him, if he doesn't see that happening then to let me know. (This was in the first month of us dating) Well just recently he has told me that if it was up to him, we wouldn't get married, it's just a piece of paper on a wall!! And now he would only like to have one baby, and he wouldn't have to have another, but he knows I want one. But, I'm not only going to have one baby, and he knows that!!! I don't want to be with someone that isn't going to be excited on our wedding day, and the same when I tell him I'm pregnant.....I've also told him this, and he told me that I have a lot of soul searching to do.... So I don't really think I'm comparing reality to a dream. I didn't ever think of my future with my ex, well I guess I did to some extent, but we were in high school then, those just weren't things we were thinking about. I do agree with you when you say I'm thing "What if", I do that all the time....

mandylee4christ, I agree with your thoughts, although, I have told myself that if I end up going back to Iowa, that I'm going to do this for myself and not my main reason for going back is to be with this other guy..... Now, how exactally would you go about breaking it off with the current boyfriend, if you were me?

Well, I'm only 22, and my boyfriend now is 32. My ex is my own age. We make regular trips back to Iowa, but since my boyfriend now is so much older than me, he has a hard time hanging out with my old friends. So when we do go back, I don't get much time with them. We are taking a trip back to Iowa in Nov, and we have planned it so that I will stay at my mom's house by myself for a couple of days, so that I have time with my friends. This I think will be good, but could be possibly bad!! The first trip I made back to Iowa, I went alone, and I did the unthinkable. I actually had a run in with my ex, and we ended up spending the last 2 days of my trip there together. And we ended up kissing......I have had mixed feelings about that. I was telling myself that if I could go and kiss another guy than I obviously shouldn't be with my boyfriend now! He deserves better than that. But, then I think that I just did it because I was lonely and that he was giving me mixed signals, and telling me things that he felt when I had broken up with him. Well after I got back to California, I had already had it all planned out with my best friend, who is also in Iowa, that I was going to move back home. I just had to tell my boyfriend. Well, I didn't tell him the truth. I half way did. But, my reason, was because I wanted to go back to college, and the only way I could do that was to move back home, because i wanted to go back full time. Well, he came back with some excuses, and then I ended up not doing it. Then things actually were really really good between my boyfriend and I, so I thought that I was wrong by thinking I should move home. Now I'm just really confused about the whole situation! Another problem I have out here, is that I haven't made any friends yet. I have found that quite mind boggeling since I had a huge group of friends back home. Now you say that I need to put it all out on the table to my man, but how am I supposed to tell him that I'm still in love with my ex?

Ok, someone please help!!!! I'm not over my ex. We broke up almost 5 years ago!!!! I ended the relationship because I was going to go to college far away from home, and I thought it would be too difficult if we stayed together..... I'm now with a guy, who I've been with for almost 4 years. I moved away from my home state of Iowa with him to California about 2 years ago. It's pretty much like we are married. We have a joint bank account, a car together, and everything in our apartment we bought together. Oh, and his kids call me mom!!! So there's another attachment. They don't live with us though. I think about my ex a lot, to the point it almost makes me sick to my stomach. I'm sure a lot has to do with that I also miss my family and friends tremendously!!! I'm not sure what I should be do.....It's gotten to the point that about 4 nights out of the week, I have dreams about my ex and people back home. I'm pretty homesick too. My boyfriend now, doesn't know about my feelings for my ex, but he does know that I'm homesick. He's told me that I need to do some soul searching. Can someone please help me out???