Hubble

Today has just been a * * * * show of emotions. I just don't understand how your feelings changed so quickly. I know it was sort of a snow ball effect, and you just couldn't take it anymore, but to just throw away almost 4 years? No part of you can see a future with me? And you said it has nothing to do with your vacation last weekend where you went to see J and her brother W? not only that but you could never admit to me that W was even there, I had to find out from the pictures. The grass isn't always greener, he may be there for you emotionally right now, but I don't think it will last. I'm sorry that I'm bitter about this last part but you're lying to yourself and me if you say this had nothing to do with our break up... Honestly, all of your "confusion" and "uncertainty" is just that you realized there's more men out there, with more to offer, and you're sick of me. But you can't admit it. You still love me? if you actually loved me you would want to be with me, devote time to fixing this, not just tossing it away.... All of my shortcomings over the years have finally broken me, and I'm determined to change them, for me. It sucks that you had to go out of town while I was having the worst week of my life. But then the fact that you came back and didn't care, and then proceeded to dump me...I just don't know what to say to you. I also can't believe how quickly you went from 9-10pm sleeper, 6am waker, to partying until the early morning. Who are you anymore? It sucks that I have to find out about this other guy and your wild nights from other people, I wish I could still be there for you. I just hope you don't change what makes you special, what makes you you, because that is what I loved and accepted as a best friend... I will always care for you, unfortunately I doubt you feel the same. As much as you begged me to stay your friend, and I convinced you that we needed time apart, I doubt you will ever love me like you claimed.