classy_cat

Thanks you both for your insights. I understand what you are saying and for the most part, I am trying to do that. I am not trying to please them. I agree also that it is mainly their problem, not mine. But it still hurts to be treated so, especially when I don't think I deserve it. Today when I realized I was feeling sorry for myself, I knew that I had to pick myself up and snap out of it. As I said before, I know that I cannot change these people, and I am not even going to try. But I want to change my attitude so that it no longer has power over me. That is when the idea came to me that if I could forgive them, I would feel better. It dosen't matter if they know about it, acknowledge it, or even care. It is not about them, it is about me. If I forgive, it dosen't make it right how they treat me, but it will help me feel better. The problem is, I am a step by step kind of person. It is one thing to say, I want to forgive someone, it is another thing to do it.

Some people I work with are angry at me, for reasons that where beyond my control. I don't fully understand why they are angry, but I do know that I don't deserve it. They have been very cold to me. They will talk to me when they need something from me, but they no longer want to socialize with me. It especially hurts when I see them chumming up with other people, and seem very happy with them, but if I come into the picture, they turn on the cold. Don't get me wrong, I do have enough people with whom I am on friendly terms with. I also know that my happiness is my responsiblity. That is why I want to figure out a systemtic way to forgive these people. I know that I won't be able to change their minds, so I want to change mine. Any ideas?