luvsomeone333

sigh...sometimes i look back and pictured us breaking up.... i hate it... i watched it happen... again and again in my head.... i never want to feel this pain anymore...i know ive passed the worst of it so why do i keep looking back?

Why do I still Think about you ?.... Its not like your thinking about me at all...

2 months no contact and 3 month since you were gone.... i still wonder what you do and how your doing.... its funny how i still think about you even thought u have hurt me..

even wanting a new relationship is really a turn off... it hurts to think about relationships and to think about my past relationship..my recent ex just told me that he thinks about me still...that just brings back old feelings to re-surface and i dont want to feel that again... i dont... its like all my energy and wasted time getting over you was my move and my next step to find that someone new.... sigh...

i thinki i have finally realised why it is hard for me to let go... I think that the last "true" words you said to me were correct...and i think for me to accept or to say you were correct it means defeat...i do believe you have hurt me and i do believe all the things yo have done was wrong but you did eventually ...tell me i wasnt your girl anymore... I got pretty angry with you yesterday...i was so bad at you that i broke the sculpture u gave to me... It reminds me of the betryals and sorrow you caused me and for everyone else that u have hurt...but mostly me... I dont know what is going to happen in the future but i hope only the best for you.. I dont want to feel pain anymore.. I want to be free..free from feeling bitterness and regret... I want to be free... Because i know whats in front of me is actually wonderful to have... I have friends who love me and support me and i have a new life..a .life that im to live in... I want to be free...

thinking back about all the things you said to me ...every word you said were lies... all lies... you didnt want to be with me all along you wanted to be with her... its what was real and what wasnt ... u left me to figure out what was what and now...all i can i ever feel from that relationship was that u were a liar... u cheated and i was a fool to fall in love with you.. ur just so full of it..

i dont know what im doing... i dont want to stoop down to your level and date somebody else because i dont want to feel the pain... i dont even know what i feel about this guy but it was the nice the way he treated me. You never did that to me and thats the unfortunate bit and ill never will... it feels weird dating again but i think maybe that its too fast too soon =/... i dont know what i feel because i cant tell if i truly feel something for this guy or im focusing on the feeling of something else than to feel the pain..? i dont want to hurt this guy cause his been really good to me... the funny thing is that its your cousin...and i rememeber you were ifi about about us talking... but that thing i never really considered dating him... i just think it was kinda nice for him to be there for me...like being more than friends. i know i shouldnt cause i dont really know what i feel and i think i should stay single for a while... i know its possible for us to work ...but maybe not.. so maybe i should'nt... so yeah...

Ah no I dont want to know what ur doing ... No no... Argghh will not lose my ground! No no no! I will be strong ! I will be! Im not going to dwell on you ..! What is set and done, is done ! Trust yourself n know thats going to be ok because it is ! Really ! Its going to be ok you will through this and if you somehow manage to find info on him n he has another girl than let it be... Just let go ...

i keep coming back to fb to see if you messaged me you got me hooked again... fb was the only form of communication even im having withdrawals for your messages... i gotta get off fb.. i have to let go of you... why cant it be so easy to let you go.. ... why...

i ve been waiting for so long for you to contact you and when u did...of course u managed to somehow hurt me again but this time it didn't hurt as much i thought i would...im stronger than i was... sad but i can move along without you. you made me who i am today.. its too late.. you let me go and you forced me to move on and so i did..now you feel regret and you feel the loss... this is what i felt and now you will suffer as much i did.. but its time to let go.. to let go of everything that i have you... its over... its done..

Good night my love ..only in my dreams u can hold u...

i got new phone and ur have seem to be saved into my memory card...the very first messges when we got together... Its funny one of your messages said that u were happy to have me has a good friend but at us now...we re fighting n were not even talking to each other... Its to let go when you know that i just lost a best friend... You just kept denying the fact that we re never friends...how sad to say the least. I kept fighting for us to stay together but u blew it all away... No i still havent let go...i tried my best to ignore the thoughts in my head but it all just keep coming back...i wonder how you are... Do u still think about us? I hope u realise what you got is gone now..i ve dissapeared from your life and im not sure if i want to go back...i really do want to see you but each time i remember you or think of you my stomach churns, i feel sadness, i feel...cheated. I want it so bad for us to work but i know thats not going to happen...there is still a little hope for me that you would come running back at me... I dont know what ur thinking and it kills me and i dont want to keep guessing. What was it that you feel relieve? Sadness ? Regret? Tell me what you feel? I know that the break up seemed so clear, but i dont believe that was all the reason... I will never know and i have to settle for what i do know... This break up ive never actually got to reflect on our relationship properly...n i dont want to... Somedays i really want you back, i dream about all the time...i remember the times when you hugged me n kissed me...only in my dreams i see you...the scary part is that my memories are fading of you and i...i cant tell between reality or fantasy..

Friday night...whats there to say ... So many things wrong... So many memories of u and I disappearing from time. .where did u go? When it all fell apart where do I turn to? ...i trusted u and put faith n u and you nee it. I had to protect myself I had to protect my heart ... Keep it close until...i dont know ...when ... My fragile heart ...

I miss my friend...i miss that I could come to you n you would make me happy whatever that was... U just disappeared from my life so quickly I didnt get a chance to say good bye to you...i know I can contact u but I know i cant see you...u are the cause of my pain n seeing u is like ripping my heart in two...i miss you ... But I still care about u even if Im pushing u away. . .

u have disappeared from my life so quickly now im sitting here thinking about you and wondering where did it all go? i know we weren't right together but you didn't have to treat me so badly...?

Again and again I dream about u ... I miss u but I cannot see because of the they way u treated me ... U dont deserve to be my friend ... N so I dont think we are... Not now or for a while .... It may not be a big deal for u but it is for me .... If u didnt feeling anything ...too bad for wasting ur time cause u just missed out to feel something ...

I had dream about u last night... I hugged you ... And I just ..miss u today ... Im not angry or sad ...i just miss u....

I see that u ve moved on ...i saw another girl on ur fb...thats enough to tell me how much u dont care about us ...its only been a month n u ve moved on quicker than I thought u would... I was wrong about u again..i cant hope for the worst for u cause all that energy hating u is all a waste of time..i wish u all the best ... Has much as I dont wont to let u go...

How could u do this to me ? U left me ..u promised to love me till the end .. U told me if I left u it would make u devastated...but of course u were selfish enough that of urself n not care what I want ...u never cared ...u just threw me like with everything that u do ... I feel so alone ... U abandone me n now I have no one... Y did u do this to me ? Y couldnt u reciprocate? Was It so bad that I loved u ? Y couldnt u do that ? Y ?

ugh i shouldn't of read the conversation of when i spoke to you...the nick name use to call me stings my heart.... u ripped my heart out

so here iam back again wanting u back in my arms... i no longer want u but have the sudden urge to need you. the tomes i catch my self being alone i think about you... i think about you being here by my side and holding me till the very end...or so i thought... in my mnd you were a bette person than i thought u were in reality but in that respect i could say that i m delusional... a false sense of reality. it just seems so easy to come back to you with open arms but i know if i do its onyl going to get worst... i miss u and yet i still ...love you... even after all this pain i almost feel like running back to you, to beg you to come back to me... but i know i will lose my sense of self respect...and its only a temporary relieve.. i honestly dont know how to get over you... u were different compared to my last... because i know this time u want to stay friends and i guess im trying to put aside my feelings and kind of separate the feeling between friendship and ex lovers.... i want it so bad that i dont want to lose you as a friend... cause ur still special to me....i shared to many memories with you... i guess im scared if i let go that u ll forget about me... u ll forget about us....i swear to you that i made no mistake of loving you and i hope u didn't too... please dont forget about me...

All I have to say to u is that u are pathetic! U cant stand to see me that Im happy, just because ur so damm miserable doesnt mean I have too. U broke up with me so suck it up! Ur a selfish jerk ur always think ur right n to have power ...no more. ..u cant control me u cant help the fact that Im letting u go ....u decided u to let me go so here I am strong and happy with u ...i could ve been ur friend but u were so immature and so inconsiderate of my feelings that u dont deserve my to be my friend ...because a true friend would think of others before they think of themselves ...u started being a selfish bastard and ended with u being a selfish bastard! Good bye ass hole

i feel so heart broken, you think you tried so hard to keeps us together but you didnt even bother to try. you've wasted my time and my life and i got nothing in return. i ve learnt so much from this break up, i ve learnt so much from you. you disappoint me and your a selfish bastard who couldn't care less for anybody else. i tried so hard to be the person that i thought you want me to be but you never did change for me or be with me when i needed you most. Your so caught up with being so miserable with yourself that you left me behind. i was the only person who cared for you most but you just pushed me away.... i hope your guilt consumes you, you treated me like crap and i cant believe i took it all in without a fight.... i hate u and u arrogant bastard!....... even if i did feel hatred for you,... u dont even deserve my acknowledgement... u dont deserve to be my friend...but u act like we re ok but were not.... im not sure when i could ever be ready to be your friend.... this expectation i wanted from will always fail and i dont care any more.... u broke my heart and left me to rot.... i hate u!