frank2345

just to let you know that i am hurting like hell while you are enjoying yourself. i just want to do anything but to lie in bed. thoughts of you just keep haunting me and this really really hurts. sometimes i just want to txt you and tell you i'm hurting but then what? u are not going to break up with your bf to come back to me. how i wished that could happen but knowing you i know it's well over now. now i understand how people can commit suicide because the pain of death is so small compared to the pain of continuing living in hell. friend tells me just give it time but i'm really tired. nothing can bring you back to me. i guess i am in a depressive state despite taking medication. i have become such a wreck because of you. i wished i had never met you. since meeting you my life has changed to the worse. now i need to rebuild again and this hurts. i really dont know how i am going to get through this but you hurt me a lot even though you did not mean it. and i am too good and i have forgiven you.

you are still hurting me, i keep dreaming of you with your bf. i dreamt about seeing you in the arms of your bf and that hurts. every small things that I do keeps me thinking how you would react in the current situation. i am really down and don't know what to do anymore. tomorrow i will again see you at the office and i will suffer again the whole day. you seem so happy now and i cant blame you for acting sad just because i'm down. i am hurting so much when you keeping into my mind. i wish that you could move to another department or change job because this is killing me.

yesterday i had a panic attack when i saw you talking on the phone with your bf, guessed you were both making plans for the evening and that made me sick physically and mentally knowing that you are having such good times and me sitting miserably at home depressed. that's a bit strange because i managed to forgive you during the week. i keep telling myself that i forgive you, i am happy for you and i forget you. that was my motto and what kept me going. somehow seeing you on the phone with your bf revealed a lot of hidden emotions inside me. i know you are happy right now and i am such a mess. i say that life is unfair to me losing everything and you getting the best of everything. as i sit miserably during this week end, i imagine that you are having all the fun in the world with your bf just as we did when we were together. the good thing is that i have kept NC and i dont feel the urge to contact you since it's no use anymore, you're promised to that guy. when you phoned me to tell me how i am, i told you i'm not well and i did not want to talk further. this has not stopped you of continuing to be happy in the office. i cant even blame you for that. you are not going to feel sad or appear down just to please me. you have your life to live i know. at the end of the day, i am the real guilty party in this whole thing. i am getting what i deserve then. justice finally exists then, i am being punished because i am guilty. you are being rewarded because you did the right things. so let me continue then to suffer and keep enjoying yourself. justice is then done.

i woke up feeling miserable and it hurts so much. i think i was over you but you keep haunting my thoughts. i wished i could have a remedy against you, something to make me forget everything about you. I make all the efforts to keep you out of my mind but when i sleep, you come back and i am so affected when i wake up. am i going too fast trying to get over you? i can't having thoughts of you with your bf being so happy and leaving me in such pain. there has to be some justice in this world. i know i am going through a lot of phases but one thing i know is that i will get well. you have hurt me so much and i wish you could disappear completely from my life but we are co workers and i can't change job. why does it hurt so much? Please go away from my mind.

i want today to let you know that i am finally happy. we broke up last year but you announced the news of having a bf last week but i somehow expected it. I felt at the lowest point in my life during this last week but today i understood many things. i understood why we cannot be together and i am happy. i am happy to see you also enjoying yourself with all the attention of colleagues congratulating you on your new found bf. well i must say i am happy and you know the reason why... i have re found someone i lost because of you. no it's not a rebound relationship but i am now happy. well i cant be friends with you anymore, well not for the moment, perhaps at a later stage. you bumped into me again and i told you i had to speak to you but it was fate that u had an urgent meting to go to and we could not talk. i would have said my apologies etc while there is nothing to apologize. you phoned me to say let us meet to talk and i said i had nothing to say. if you are unhappy with that and if you do not talk to me anymore, that's fine. i can't imagine that only one day has sufficed to make me see clear. i hope you the best in the world as i already found my best in the world. we will meet again but not now. i have more urgent things to do. i have never been so excited as now but i won't announce you what is making me so happy. you had a part to play in that i must admit though and you are right on this one. thank you for opening my eyes. as i told you i wished we could stay friends but not now. we both have our ways to go.

3rd day of NC and it has been hell. i just wanted to send you an email or just to phone you or just to bump into you on purpose because i wanted so much to talk to you. i am saying this while just yesterday i wrote on this same thread that i was never ever going to forgive or talk to you. now i was going to beg you to talk to me and even apologize. it's so tough not to be with you anymore and you moved on with your bf. it seems that you have got every positive from our relationship and i am keeping all the negative stuff. i resisted talking to you but what about tomorrow? looks like i'm trying to bargain for some sort of reconciliation, i.e. to be just friends but everybody knows this cannot work. i see you so happy and so serene with your new bf and i cant stop hurting. you are probably living your dream and i am living my nightmare. how i wished things could be different. when i hear that people take months or even years to recover from a breakup, i am discouraged after my 3 days NC. i know i cant be friends with you because i will know more about your bf, how great etc he is and i will be hurting myself. i wished i could go back in time and changed certain things but it's too late. i'm doing everything to try to heal but it's hard. but you know i will make that effort to continue healing because i want to be able to live again without you.

so you had to announce to the whole office that you have a new bf and going around saying how in love you are. you know that was going to hurt me more, yet you were too in love and had to announce every person about it. it was already hard for me to learn about your bf last week, now the whole office is talking and joking about that. you cant imagine the amount this is hurting me. i was already not feeling well at all, i had to endure seeing you being so happy and now i have to endure all these talks about you in the office. it does not seem that you realise the hurt you are causing me. but you know what a person cannot be happy all the time, you know what, one day this will happen to you as well and the pain will be twice as much as mine. There is a justice in this world, whatever wrong you do to another person, somehow this will come back to you, not tomorrow, not in a month but when you lease expect it and you will remember me and all the hurts you have caused me. now there is great anger in my heart and i will use this anger to keep absolute NC with you. I will never talk to you again even if you come to talk to me. i was finding it difficult to keep NC before because you were always needing some advice, some help, someone to rely on but i have been betrayed and i will never ever talk to you. Now i am realising that you used and abused my trust and help. i now understand all these problems you had and asked me for help were all related to that bf. you knew how to con me in getting advice without ever telling me about him.the irony is that i advised you witout knowing it to make a bold decision. now i truly see your manipulative and egoistic nature. dont think that the love you have for your bf will last forever because i know there will be a lot of problems in your relationship because it has been built on lies to me. now i will have to bear all the comments at the office. i dread going to work everyday now and i suffer in silence and take the blows as they come. i really hate it but i can't quit my job. one day you will realise how wrong you were and dont think of coming back to me to get any support because IT IS ALL OVER, FINISHED. YOU BETRAYED MY TRUST AND I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU.

so you bumped into me today and acted as if you still cared after you said last week i.e. to get out of my life. you asked me how i was??? what for, you said you moved out of my life. i asked you why and i moved away. i am happy i did it. so you think that you can have your bf with whom you are madly in love with and me still as your friend? well keep hoping because i will never give you that friendship. you may say so what, i have a new bf now, well that's good then because you will never ever get my help and support. never do something you dont want to happen to you, well i do hope you will experience this pain of break up and being dumped and played with like that. you cant imagine i spent the last 4 days in deep depression and you came to me and said how i was. well i think you should get lost. and plese do not ever ask me for help. you broke my trust and i have some dignity left in me. whatever happens to you from now on, you can keep it to yourself because i dont want to be part of your life anymore. i dont want you anymore in my life. you make me want to throw up.

It's me again. Now I have lost sleep and cannot eat. I deleted your phone number from my mobile and can't text you which I was not going to do anyway since you have your new bf. I am still angry at you for what you did to me. Can you imagine, I took one whole year to be able to say that i was going well and that was two weeks earlier and today i am back to square one. i keep having images of you with your new bf enjoying yourselves while i am at home completely shattered. i hate that it had to end that way and that you took everything from me without any remorse, you took my valuable advice, you took support from me, you broke my NC so many times that i finally started speaking to you. i did not contact you but you had to come and ask for help and advice. now that you know you love your new bf, you just dump me like that and telling me it is going to be for my own good that you leave my world. well you could have done that earlier and i could have been better by now. i will tell you one thing, you did something really terrible to me and somehow someday you will learn that what you did was wrong. i really dont like you anymore for having been so selfish. how could you phone me everyday to talk about your problems looking for advice without letting me know you were already in a relationship. you used me and now you have finished with me you just throw me away. i wish i could hope that it will never work out with your new bf and that you teach you a good lesson for being so selfish and immature. i will never ever forgive you for what you did to me after all that i have done for you. you have hurt me so much. i wish you could feel that pain and then you will understand how much you have hurt me.

Dear Ex, so you now have a boyfriend and you are really happy. you did not tell me anything for months and that hurts. though we parted one year ago, you broke my NC almost everyday and i could not refuse talking to you. i was hoping for you to change your mind but instead you have been dating for months. i feel really betrayed to the point that i am now clinically depressed and i have been under medication and counseling for one whole year. i hate you for having done that. i helped you and you admitted that i was the person who helped you the most and had the greatest impact in your life yet you are with that other guy. i helped you through work problems, personal problems, financial problems, i have been there any time you called and i supported unflinchingly you all the time and you now tell me you have a boyfriend and you would have never told me if i did not insist. let me tell you that you have HURT me SO MUCH and this thing is stuck in me. how i wish you could feel my pain and hurt for just one minute and you will realize the immense hurt you caused me. you gained everything, happiness, a boyfriend etc. I lost everything, i lost one whole year waiting for you, i lost my exuberance for life having to consult a psychologist and a psychiatrist, i lost opportunities at work because i wanted to stay near to you, i lost all colleague friends that you did not like and whom i also now am not in good terms, i lost my family's esteem, i lost my time and all my energy. Remember that for the last year i did everything for you, anything you needed you received it and now you tell me it's all over. you tell me that you want me to be happy as much as you are, but how can i be happy when you took everything from me. you told me that you will now get out of my life so that i can move on, so now you are patronizing me. i cant go to work right now because i will see you happy and laughing again while i will depressed. i will never be able to forgive you, never because you caused me so much hurt and now i have to go through this hurt and pain for i dont know long while you will be happily dating your bf. how can you do that to me after all that i have done for you? just to let you know YOU HAVE HURT ME SO MUCH AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, NEVER.

Dear Ex, I dont know why i want to see you and to talk to you and make as if nothing happened. i gave you everything, my time, my energy and a lot more and yet you have decided to tell me to go away and that you are fed up with me. I try remembering all the bad things you did and which i forgave you each time but this time i cant find forgiveness. i am still angry with what you did and it hurts so much that i have to let you go. there is no turning back since things will never be the same. something has broken between the two of us. when i see you continue on with your life like that, laughing, going out etc, i wonder if you ever really loved me. why do i have to be the one who suffers and not you. i just hope that i will get better and move on since i cant take it anymore. despite all that i still love you. Please come back to me.