lacrosselover

I was hurt and angry when I said those things. I vilified you until you became a man I could hate without impunity. I'm sorry for that. No one is every 100% bad. I'm still jealous, and I'm still angry sometimes. I don't know what I want now, all I know is in short term I want to hear your voice. I will find my future, but it's scary. You were my best friend, my confidante. I hate that we can't talk like we used to. I sometimes feel sick thinking of you moving on with another person. I'm trying to reconcile but it's hard. I also don't want to create fictional relationship now, because you assure me you need time too. No contact is difficult, but I think I'm learning each day. I want to grow strong, and if I can keep you in my life. If keeping you in my life means reconciling my jealousy I think I can do it. It's a short term sacrifice for long term gain. I love you. I want you to be happy. I wish I could have made you happier when we were going out.