field

I just hope your happy as you obviously weren't happy with me. I have had to let you go as I have no choice. you cannot make people be with someone. I just wish that you hadn't given me false hope, told me you loved me 6 days before you betrayed me.

Just woke up and walked outside. the sun was shining but it had a pink tinge to it and didn't feel right somehow. It was then that I realised that I was wearing a pair of rose tinted glasses. I have taken them off for good. I will not be wearing them again. I need to see clearly. I need to see your bad points, how you treated me in the last few months and how you you left me for someone else when we were trying to patch things up. You went out for one night and met someone else. one night. The day before you told me you loved me. then I heard nothing till I called and you said sorry it's over. Thanks for nothing. keep me dangling till something better comes along. I don't want to forgive you for what you have done to me, but I will, not because I want you back but because I want to move on and you have shown me who you really are.

I need to let go and stop thinking that by helping you and being here for you will get us back together. I need to start thinking about me now. I have helped all I can you have given nothing in return. You are the one who decided to move on with someone else. Leave me alone. You are toxic. I need to stay away from you. NC I now realise is for myself to heal not what I first thought of it as a way to win you back. I don't want what you are now I was in love with the old you not this jealous manipulating ugly cold person you have become. You are so needy and controlling. I want my life back. I want you to stop having control over me. Yes I feel anger and resentment because I feel that it was repairable but you chose to leave and yes I could forgive but would anything change if we got back together. Now you have someone else you don't give me a second thought. 6 years forgotten about in a instant. I wont forget. my anger is probably part of the healing process. I need to heal and make myself no1 again.not in a selfish way but realise I cannot be used as an emotional crux. I am only hurting myself. I hate this control you have over me. I need the control back. I am too soft. I need to practice tough love without feeling guilty. If you wanted to move on, then move on. don't you dare carry on and use me in this way. You must be a very weak person to use others in this way. You have never been on your own. The last 2 relationships went this way. you jumped ship straight to someone else. I would love to see how you cope if this was done to you and you were left on your own. I must realise that what is finished is over and I must let go. If you have any ounce of decency you will let go too.