Eddie37

Dear ex,

I really miss you. It's taken every bit of effort I can muster to keep from calling you and asking to come back to me. I love you. I don't know why. Maybe I just need more time to get over you. But I think about you so much and I care about you. You are in my heart. I know it may have seemed to you that I didn't care about your problems, but the truth is, I've loved you more than I loved any woman before.

Maybe you'll don't feel the same, you probably don't want to hear from me. You're probably doing really well and happy. You probably are enjoying dating and finding a new apartment and working. But me, I'm struggling. I'm struggling because I miss the woman I love. You're not with me and my heart hurts constantly because of your absence. I wish we could be together. I wish our hearts would have never parted ways. I love you.

Hi. I'd love to hear from you. Why don't you give me a call or shoot me an email to let me know what you've been up to. It would also be great if you begged me to take you back. But now I'm slipping into fantasyland. K bye.

I'm not just saying this because you hurt me, I'm saying it because it's true: you are one of the weakest, lowest, most depraved people I've ever had the unfortunate opportunity to know. That said, I should have been able to see through your thin veil of shallowness and selfishness. You are an empty vessel, lost and wandering. I fell for your damsel in distress disguise but now I see you for the vapid soul you are. I know you will ultimately be miserable because you have no internal compass to guide you. You will continue to use men for attention, luring them in with your body and discard them until you become truly alone. You have no clue what love is, which is why you threw away the one man who truly loved you.

Day 45

Well, I'm better, that's for sure. But I still miss her, want her back and love her. I'm still incredibly lonely and having a really difficult time. I'm struggling with the fact that she hasn't attempted to contact me. Doesn't she love me, doesn't she want to know how I am? Still hurting....but staying strong. No contact is absolutely the best way to go.

Hi. Just wanted to let you know that you gave me nothing. Yet I loved you. I gave and gave...and you took and took. I cannot understand why I miss you. Is it the sex? That's all you had to offer...and it wasn't even good. Why do I miss you? You didn't love me, you know nothing of love. You are a liar and a bum. I hope you are miserable, desperately miserable. You are pathetic and I remain absolutely confounded as to how I can possibly miss you and even entertain the thought of taking you back. Rot...I mean it...rot in your misery and complete lack of character.

6 months, give or take. Late nights are really the only time it aches anymore, and it only aches. Never the stabbing pain like it used to be. Just a dull pressure, a faint hurt. And only because insomnia brings up stuff I wouldn't think about otherwise.

 

Do you ever think about me?

Do you ever want me to talk to you?

Oh well.

Don't look back, the past is just that.

 

 

I promise you all: it does get better.

Good to hear. Yep, it'll get better.

Would have been day 7 but i had to email him back about our living situation. His reply has completely messed with my head. All i said was i couldn't afford to move out soon but would do eventually. He replied with the whole "sorry, don't love you but thank you the memories" bla bla...don't know why he had to say that, don't know why he has to dig the knife in even deeper. I feel like a pathetic mess. I haven't replied to his email. Will have to start NC again.

It doesn't matter why he says what he says, so stop wondering. You could spend all day trying to figure out why he says things and why he does things...and it does you no good...in fact it just keeps you from moving on. It's about you at this point. Let him deal with his situation, you've got your own to deal with. No contact. You can do it.

Day 30. Not a great day. Started off pretty good but has deteriorated into loneliness. I'm still getting used to this whole "single" thing again. It'll take some time. By Day 60 I'll be good to go.

Keep pushing ahead everybody.

this beeeep sucks

 

I want her back soooo much

 

my friends say I should try now since it's been two weeks since the break up

 

Should I?

Um, what the heck do your friends know? They aren't the ones going through a breakup, you are. And no, you shouldn't contact her. She dumped you, let her contact you. If you contact her before she's ready, you'll just push her farther away...trust me. You wait until she contacts you...and if she doesn't, then you'll know how she truly feels. Stay strong, man.

Day 29. I've been a mess the last two days. Miss her terribly. Sad and depressed. I'm hoping I'm getting over the hump and it's a nice coast downhill from here. I don't to be like this anymore.

I have to wonder that this is in the getting back together forum. It seems that this challenge is more applicable to people trying to get over a relationship rather than get back together.

I would say this thread belongs in the "healing after a breakup" section...but whatever. NC should be about you getting yourself back rather than getting your ex back.

You're going to remember her whether you keep track of your days or not. There will come a time when you won't remember her so much and you'll stop counting the days. We're not there yet...but we will be.

Congrats on day 30, wildestkabs. You may not be over her yet but you're sure on your way there. Good job...stay strong! Day 30 is on Saturday for me.

Day 28. Has not been a great day. I cried. I miss her. This sucks because logically I know that she was a disaster, a horrible gf and a horrible fiance. She offered me very little other than a pretty face and lots of sex. Emotionally she offered nothing to me. In terms of love, she simply didn't know how...even though she would say she loved me numerous times a day. We didn't communicate, not because we both weren't willing but because she was simply on a different level than me, emotionally and maturity-wise. She simply was unable to relate to me...that wasn't her fault or mine. I hate the fact that I'm still holding onto some hope that she will call and want to get back together. I hate holding onto her like this!!! I need to let her go...but I can't.

Day 26. Not a good day.

Hey everyone, guess what? Your ex does not exist. No contact!

Kenny, the more you can avoid reminiscing, looking at pictures of her, or checking out her various profiles...the better. I know it's hard but in a way, you're knocking yourself backwards a little bit every time you look. Forge ahead. You can do it.

Day 25 of nc. Still tough but getting better. I find it easier to not think about her. The sharp pain has dulled a bit, the sting is a little less severe. My heart still aches constantly but the pain doesn't dominate my life. I'm becoming myself again rather than the badly wounded passenger crawling from the ugly wreckage of a failed relationship. One more day people....keep going...one more day.

bitebenot, good post. Thanks for sharing. Day 24 for me. Letting her go a little more each day...but it's hard. It's not enough to let go with your mind...it's letting go with the heart that takes time. I'm accepting the reality that she's out of my life and I've got to move on without her.

Guys, I say this in that I admit.. while I may seem strong I am not. I did not contact her... but I broke down in front of family and myself openly.. and it all came out; how she had moved on to this relationship quickly and much more easily than I ever could (which says something to what I actually meant to her), how I may never find what I am looking for and this is just another disappointment, and how I may never ever find my match or have a child of my own.

 

I'm on the brink of 30 days (tomorrow), yet I feel as down as ever as reality of being early/mid 30's and having to start things over again is blunt to say the least.

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to have a pity party here... just feeling pretty low now.

I'm right there with you. All we can do is keep moving ahead, one day at a time. You can do it.

Day 22 of no contact has been a doozy. There are these attacks of severe anxiety to hear from her. Checking my email, my phone...waiting...waiting...anxious... .ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. How did this little girl turn me, a relatively strong, confident man, into this mess?

I cried 3 times today. Not sobbing, just brief expressions of sorrow. I miss her. Still though, emotionally I feel more stable. I'm beginning to feel some actual distance from her in my heart and mind.

What a dirtbag. Don't contact him, don't be his little puppy begging for scraps. Be strong, stand your ground. If he is going to come back to you it better be on his hands and knees. And until he comes crawling, full of remorse...ignore every attempt he makes to contact you and do not contact him. You can do this, you have to this or he will continue to use you and treat you like garbage.

I've underestimated how desperate I feel at times. So desperate to contact her, to reach out to her, to connect with her again. I have to fight through these times when I feel like I'm just going to completely fall apart unless I talk to her. I can see why so many people break NC. The feelings of desperation take over and they reach out...only to find that their ex is not their to hold onto. Day 22 of no contact. Could be better, could be a lot worse.

I've been doing a helluva lot of grief work. Experiencing the huge spectrum of emotions, accepting them, purging, and allowing myself to feel whatever I'm feelings without pushing it aside. I've been writing in my journal, talking to friends, and just trudging ahead. And what I haven't done is contact my ex. I've been almost methodical about my grief work during this breakup...as opposed to my divorce 5 years ago where I fought it every step of the way. My initial goal from the very start was the heal fast and completely. I think I'm on my way.

This has been my first legitimately decent day! This is the least I've thought about her and my stomach doesn't churn every time I think about her not being with me. I think some of it, maybe most of it had to do with the fact that I spent the entire day at the lake with friends boating and jetskiing. There were some single girls there and I wasn't a basket case around them. I actually felt like I can be single again! But now I'm at home, by myself. Now is when I start to get really lonely...and miss her. Day 21; knocked it out like an Anderson Silva flying knee to the dome.

Don't want to get ahead of myself, because I think that can be stupid, but maybe I'm nearing the summit of the mountain they call Breakup, and maybe I'm getting ready for my journey back down and out of the wilderness.