Eddie37

Day 20. Meh, pretty bad. I cried when I got home from work. But the entire day wasn't crap, I had some ok times too. I feel like some realities are beginning to sink in. I'm getting more and more used to being alone and not having her to come home to, hold, talk to, all that good stuff. Pretty rough ride.

Day 20. Just finished work. First thing I did when I got home: cried. This sucks. I hate not having her. I hate that she's gone. This feels so wrong! I thought she was the one...I really believed it.

Day 26... made it through the "2 year" date okay, so onwards and upwards now. Saturday will be day 30!! Only possible roadblock is a potential gathering on friday that she "may" attend. I'll know more in a few days.

 

I am actually slowly feeling better.. I've made emotional progress before, only to be stunted by her throwing breadcrumbs and me eagerly eating them, or me caving. Ever so slowly she is fading...

Congratulations, man. Day 30...here you come....Day 45...Day 60...Day 150....

 

If there's a good chance she'll be at the party, don't go. You don't need a major setback at this point. I realize that you can't avoid her forever, but I think it's way too soon to risk undoing all your hard work.

Have him ship your belongings to your temporary address. Certainly you can find some address for him to ship to in order to avoid a face to face meeting.

Day 19, getting harder. Every day I don't talk to her is another day she slips farther away from me...and closer to someone else. I have lost motivation to do anything. It's hard to get out of bed and go to work. She was my motivation. Now I'm just in zombie mode. Missing her, wanting her back so badly. I hope she contacts me. I hope she misses me as much as I miss her. Dying here.

I think the bottom line for me is, regardless of how much pain I'm in, how much I miss her, love her, want her back...I will not contact her. I just have to accept the pain and continue to move ahead. Contacting her would be the worst possible action I could take at this point.

Day 18. Seems like it's getting harder in some ways. I'm so anxious for her to contact me. I'm holding out hope that she'll come back to me. It sucks. I'm checking my email 100 times a day...waiting for her to say something...anything! When does this get easier?!!!

I will do anything to get my ex back (at least as of this moment)...

And that's a very vulnerable, weak and desperate place to be. I've been there, man. Of course, I'm not accusing you of manipulation and I apologize if it came off like that. I was simply pointing out how a desperate dumpee would feel compelled to use manipulation to get their ex back, that's all I was saying. Someone who is desperate will go to any lengths to remedy their pain, loss and loneliness...and those lengths can lead to even greater, extended pain...especially if manipulation is used.

 

Because when we manipulate someone we are preying upon their emotions. We use manipulative tactics to sway their feelings rather than allowing them to seek and choose of their own free will, from their heart with no outside influences. That's the great thing about no contact. With nc, we are giving our ex's the opportunity to search their own hearts to discover whether or not there is a place for us in them. And the fact is, many of our relationships were sustained by us constantly persuading our partners to remain with us. That's just not healthy.

 

If my ex is going to return to me it won't be because of anything I do. It will be because she has taken time on her own, without the noise and distraction of me and our expired relationship, to soul search and search her heart...on her own. jmho.

Take it easy with the ultra-defensiveness, I'm on your side. We are where we are in our journey through breakup. I'm in a different place than you, that's obvious. I want my ex back too, and if she has a change of heart and wants to come back, which is what every dumpee wants to see from their ex, then she can text, call, email, send a letter, or any other of the various ways to communicate in this modern world without the use of Facebook.

You want to leave them alone but you want to let a few doors open for them without letting them know that you have done so.

That just sounds an awful lot like manipulation. Trying to manipulate your ex's emotions by allowing them to view your fb posts in hopes that they will walk back into your life. "hey, read my fb posts to see how happy I am, how well I'm doing without you, how wonderfully I'm moving on". It's manipulation and it's probably fake.

 

The only open door the dumper should walk back through is the one where they realize, in their heart, that they love you and want to be with you and nothing will stop them from attempting to reconcile. Just my humble opinion, of course.

Day 16 of No Contact done. Still really hard. I miss her, I love her, I want her back.

 

Regarding the checking of Facebook, people...don't do it...just don't. I know it's so easy, just a click of the mouse...but it is contact. It's you contacting your ex's personal space, personal thoughts, actions and words. By checking fb, you're doing nothing but setting yourself back. I've had to learn the hard way...but you have to de-friend them if you want your no contact to be successful for YOU. De-friend them...and block them. just my two cents.

Still thinking of her way too much.

I know how you feel. It's so hard not to think of my ex. But I can tell you, at Day 15, I think of her less, the times of despair have become fewer. It does slowly get better. Keep going no contact.

Two weeks of no contact...done! Can't say I feel all that great, but it's certainly nice to know I can do it. I'm gonna keep no contact until this girl is a distant memory.

Day 14. Not a good day. Been pretty depressed. The thought of her without me and with someone else makes my stomach churn. I hope this gets better...soon.

 

I'm actually still thinking about her, but more of a distant memory as in a kind of positive way, but nothing negative or extreme on either side. For today at least, the thought of her doesn't cause much of a reaction in me.

Man, I'm so ready to feel the way you do. Still aching over the thought of her moving on without me. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Love isn't supposed to be this way. I thought she loved me.

Day 12, done. Really up and down day. The ups were way up and the downs were way down.

 

The hardest thing about love is that it's selfless, it's something you give, and when you love somebody you give and give and give of yourself because that's what love is, that's what love compels us to do...and when you realize that the other person doesn't love you back it's too late to save your heart from the pain and loss. Because when you're busy loving someone you lose sight of whether or not they're loving you back, that's just the nature of love.

 

Loving makes us vulnerable...vulnerable to rejection, and that's the hardest kind of rejection to experience. When someone rejects your love they are rejecting the very core, the very essence of who you are. That hurts. That's what I'm feeling.

Well Eddie, here is the weird part. We were in an LDR, the main reason our relationship did not work out, especially for me, since I had become very distant. We live 3,000 miles apart in the US.

 

Now, within the next 3-4 months, I would have relocated to within 10 miles of where she lives because of work!

 

She is in a relationship right now. Got into it within 3 days of breaking up with me, exchanged "I love you's" within the next 48 - 72 hours and other long term plans were quickly made as well. I am thinking probably a rebound one and it will probably not last long but not holding my breath on it. We will see.

 

Right now I am working out like crazy and getting ready to actively date myself, though not sure if it would be easy.

That just flat out sucks man. One of the benefits of no contact is I don't have to hear about or see her move on with some other guy. Wildestkabs, if I were you I would stay as far away from that girl as I could...she sounds horrible...kinda like my ex, who never really loved me eventhough she would say it 50 times a day. Good for you for working out. You know what, some beautiful woman is going to come along and that wretched ex will be a thing of the past. Keep your chin up...keep looking ahead...the future is brighter than you know.

Day 14 NC. Oddly enough, it has gotten harder over the last few days. I miss her dearly. But I have faith.

No doubt! Days 3-7 were pretty good actually...then I hit a really bad rough patch, I'm still in it. I think it has to do with the feeling that we are really becoming separated from our ex's. With each day, the separation grows, the distance grows...and that's hard to accept.

Day 8

 

I'm cracking, but I gotta be strong, I miss her so much, and still realise I'd do anything for her. I need help

I'm on Day 12. I think the journey of no contact, letting go, and moving on is going to be a roller coaster ride. Right now, like you Josh, I'm in a hard spot. I miss her like crazy, love her and feel like she's slipping away and there's absolutely NOTHING I can do about it. Contacting her is simply not an option...and it's not for you either, Josh. Ride out these rough patches...you can make it.

1 month 19 days NC. I rather wait till you come back to me on your own than begging you to come back.

Yep. I realized again today that it would be absolutely pointless to contact her. What would I say, really? I won't tell her I want her back because that would just give her an excuse to forget the fact that she broke up with me right after we got engaged. If I took her back now, she will have learned absolutely nothing from the whole ordeal. I need to show her that she can't continue to f#ck with people's lives with her selfish immaturity and bullsh!t. She gets away with that sh!t with her daddy, but I'm not the spineless basterd that he is.

 

Day 11 blows hard, but I'm going to get over this hump and keep moving on.

Day 10, done. This day sorta sucked. My ex sucks too.

I am really struggling today. Heading out to a party with friends and family. I'll be there as a single, like a freak, the only one without somebody. F#cking sucks. Day 10 of nc sucks.

Day 6, it should be like 19 but I'm a fool, feelng good I guess. Excited for the day

It's all good. You slipped up, now you're at 6, no big deal...just keep going, for you.

 

Day 10 for me. Last night after the UFC fight I was really missing her badly, cried a little. Still love her, still miss her but she chose to leave me...so f#ck it, Day 10, gonna knock you out like a Brock Lesnar right hook.

your number one priority is YOU, and if you ex gf/bf has made this decision, it is time we take back our dignity and self respect.

QFT! Well put.

Day 40+

 

I can't imagine a reason in the world why I would contact you.

Good post. I'm on Day 8.