Eddie37

^^So...we're supposed to feel better because in 20 years we'll be over them? Gee, thanks.

Never break NC. It will pain you so much that you want to just take some medicine and sleep till the pain is gone. I was so happy yesterday and now I am a wreck. Never break NC. Not even if there is a earthquake, hurricane, war, and bla bla bla. I broke my NC becoz I saw in the morning in news 4 hurricane Alexis causalties in the city he lives. I was fine for few hours. I called him and talked to him. And now lightening struck. I am just hurting bad. It is worse than the feeling I had when he first broke up with me. So never ever break the NC if you do not want to feel pain.

Great advice! I'm on Day 7. Staying strong. She won't be hearing from me, that's for damn sure.

Is this day 3? I can't remember. It feels like its 3 months its going to slowly.

Good job. Keep going...there's no reason to stop now.

Day 5 of no contact almost done.

I'm anxious to hear from her again. Since she contacted me via email a couple days ago and I ignored her, I was expecting another attempt to reach me...but it hasn't come. Even though I'm 90% positive that I would never take her back, I still feel the need to reject her. For some reason, she reaching out and me rejecting is what I want. I don't understand it all.

Well.. back to day 1...

Day 4, no contact. My ex contacted me via email. But I don't think it's considered a break in no contact unless I contact her.

Here is her email to me from this morning:

"I never expected you to be the one to make me happy all the time. I don't

think I'm selfish. I think I'm just confused, lost, scared, sad, etc.

And it is literally taking everything I have to be here in right

now. I don't want to shut you out, or anyone else. I just have

absolutely no clue how I would even get to . Seriously, I have

40 dollars. That wouldn't even get me there in my car. Anyways, I

don't really know what to say."

Whats this? Day 4?

 

I'm starting to feel less better and more like I want him back in my life in anyway possible. Everything is reminding me of him! I had my whole life with him for 3 and a half years and now I have nothing!! I know I'm falling apart. I know he can fix it, I wish he would. But I don't think he will. I don't know how long I can keep this up. I'm miserable, I'm not talking to anyone properly.. I go to work and I can't wait to get away home but why? Once I finish all I'm left with is these thoughts!

Kaylee, hang in there. You don't need him to live. Please don't fall apart now, keep going, you are strong enough to do this. Stand on your own two feet, be a strong woman. Don't be his dog that keeps begging at his table for scraps. You want a man who loves you fully, not one who doesn't know what he wants. Hang in there girl.

 

Oh well, just what I need in these trying times. Some hot company! that!

 

Day 3, in the books.

Right now I feel as though I just want someone to come and take away my pain and loneliness. I don't care who, anyone. I can understand very clearly why people have rebound relationships. They are lonely and hurt and just want someone to make it go away. My ex was always just sort of half there. She was always wrapped up in herself, in her own private, singular world. She was always either on the internet, talking her dad on the phone or watching t.v. It was so hard to talk about anything deep and meaningful with her because she just wasn't there in mind and spirit. When she did want to talk about something it was usually about her being hungry or tired or hurt or something. She was content to sit around all day and do nothing. She would sit on her ass all day at work, come home, sit on her ass, get up the next day and do all over again. And then when the weekends rolled around she would want to stay home and sit on her ass.

I'm the opposite. What the hell was I doing with her? I used to have to drag her out of the house. And when I tried to motivate her she would accuse me of not accepting her for who she is and being mean to her. Oh brother! But she was very giving sexually. I think she knew that sex was about the only thing she knew she could really offer me. I remember getting tired of the sex too. And when I got tired of her constantly throwing herself at me, that's when she started in with all the deep promises like "I will love you forever", "I want to be your wife", "I want to have a family with you", "You are the only one for me", "I have been waiting my whole life for you". Maybe she realized that she couldn't keep me around with the sex anymore so she started in with the hefty promises. Sh!t.

I'm finding it really hard today to not talk to him he was always with me on sundays

I don't know your situation exactly Kaylee, but my ex left me. We used to be together on Sundays too, but she left, and if she wants to spend any more Sundays with me she'll contact me and tell me so. So I'm not going to chase after somebody who doesn't want to be gotten. Try to remember, if they want to be with you, they will, and contacting them won't change that.

Met another girl online that I asked out after some really fun conversations. She said she doesn't want to meet people she has "more than friend intentions for". I seem to really fall for crazies...

Dude, it's been 20 days, what's your hurry to get involved again?

Someone just shared with me something that I found to be very relevant to what I'm going through. She suggested that it's not necessarily my ex that I miss, rather it's the comfort and security of having someone to share thoughts, experiences, laughs, hopes, etc. with. In other words, it's the empty space that hurts.

Really sad at the idea that with each passing day we don't contact each other it's one more day that she slips farther away, one more day that she grows more accustomed to not having me in her life, one more day that she realizes she doesn't need me and one more day for the love to fade.

I just broke NC again and texted her, "enjoying the football?" because I'm a douchebag. Germany was winning, last time I checked. Does she even get my texts any more?

Stop it! Have some self-control. Just because you are compelled, like a helpless addict, doesn't mean you have to do it. Stop texting her. You are doing nothing but showing her that you are weak and she is strong. You are giving her all the control. Stop being the weak one. Self control, man.

This is Day 3 for me. Been pretty heavy hearted all day long. I miss her. I got so used to having her with me that I feel like I can't do anything now without her. I need to start living again...without her, making choices without her, going for drives without her, visiting friends without her, eating dinner without her, going to bed without her, waking up without her, taking a walk without her, starting my week without her, coming home from work without her. I can and will adjust to doing all these things without her. I don't need her to live.

I feel the same, I've just started trying to text my friends instead and try and just take my mind off it anyway at all possible. I'm sat here now kind of just making myself not ring him or anything cos I know it wont get me anywhere so I came on here to get my reinforcement in my head! Don't think theres alot you can do other than think about that it won't change anything cos there are no magic words and saying something in the moment could just ruin anything in the future! Thats what I think anyway.

Yeah. At this point I'm sort of like a junkie trying his hardest not to stick that needle in his arm to get his fix. Sometimes I want to tell her I love her and miss her and other times I want to tell her to go f##k off. If I can make it through the weekend with no contact I think i'll be good this coming week.

Free time is a killer. When I don't have something to do to occupy my mind I think only about her. I hate it when I think about what she might be doing. Maybe she's meeting other people, having fun, meeting guys. It drives me nuts. I have nothing to say to her but, like an addiction I need to contact her...but I won't.

Need to find something constructive to do to take my mind off her. Any thoughts people?

This is Day 2 for me.

My fiance left me a week and a half ago. I contacted her pleading with her to come back, two days later she contacted me pleading to come back then shortly after retracting her plea and told me to never contact her again. The next day I sent her an email telling her she's selfish and a text telling her I miss her. And here we are today.

Day 2. Blah. Chatted with ma, sis, friends, took a drive, played with my dog, came home, cried a bit because I miss her. It's raining. I think I'll fix something to eat and watch the tube.

I don't want to contact her because I have nothing to say, but I'm anxious for her to contact me.