amandathepanda

I think this is just what I needed, having spent a day wondering around in a daze with my poor daughters (I ended a year long totally traumatic relationship last weekend). I want to contact him and tell him stuff but I know it's absolutely the wrong thing to do...have ended it so many times and gone back on it or contacted him...so this time I will put my thoughts here: I can't even begin to tell you how despicable the way you have treated me is...and the fact that yet again you have tried to blame your lying on me shows how far removed from reality you are. You will never understand this, I know that now. You are quite possibly the most self-absorbed person I have ever met in my life, maybe apart from my own father...but no matter, the person I must now examine and think about is myself. I need to work out why and how I came to spend (sorry waste) a year of my life waiting for a man who after only a month into the relationship showed that he wasn't trustworthy. How I spent all that time waiting and hoping for you to change and realise that you didnt want to be with your ex, but actually DID want me... and how I could be so stupid as to a)believe the completely ludicrous lies and b) forgive them when they revealed themselves as lies. But not only that, how I ignored my own instinct in the first place, when I knew your situation and was taken in by the bull * * * * emails promising me love and security...what a joke. I don't want to find myself in this position again, with anyone, and so from now on I want no contact with you. At work, I will be polite and professional where necessary. Otherwise, I don't want to hear from you or speak to you, or to know any details about your life. I am a good, loving and loyal person with bucket loads to give the right man...and as soon as I have licked my wounds, and checked that my self esteem is restored to normal, I will open my heart again and be out there looking for him. In the meantime, I wish you well. I hope that you too learn something from this experience, and don't even put another human being through the hell you subjected me to. Phew, that feels better!!