My names John and im losing it. I dont want to die. I contemplate suiside all the time and fear one day im going to do it. My friends are all trying to help but nothing is working. Neither of my parents know and i can't tell them. They would freak out too much. I just feel like im a burden to everyone...like no one wants me around because of how i am. Truth is i need people around me...I need my friends with me...i Need to find sumone who will be here to help me. But i cant. The doctors cant help me. Im just so scared that im going to lose control again...I have before. I have cut myself and walked out infront of traffic. When i do this i cant stop myself. I dont expect anyone to understand coz i dont think that anyone does. I just dont want to die. I dont want to lose control. Im so scared.
