loveridden

I dated a guy for three years and we hardly spent any time away together. One day we were on the phone and I mentioned to him that I'd like to take a vacation with him, even just a few days at a hotel or something along those lines. He got upset with me, "Do you think I'm made of money?", stuff like that. Meanwhile, I'd always worked and was more than prepared to pay my half of things. Anyways, that phone convo ended badly and the next I heard from him was two days later, calling me drunk at some bar in a far away city at 6am where he'd taken a little "vacation" with his friends. He'd flaked out on our plans to go out the night before (!?!?) and was drunk. He couldn't understand why I was mad. When he returned from his vacation three days later, we broke up. That was two years ago and I haven't looked back (much) since. I've realised that he had dealt with his lack of interest in trying to make things work by ignoring the situation altogether. To me, the whole "vacation thing" is a symbol of the moment when I realised he felt he had better things to do than spend (quality) time away with me. I think you really need to talk to your man as I have a feeling there's more going on is his head than he's letting on. What kind of guy wouldn't want to spend time away with his wonderful lady? You should book a week for yourself at a spa or something!

Hi there. I'd like to start off by saying hello to everyone who's reading & thank you to anyone who responds. I have been dating V for about nine months and things have gone very smoothly so far. Recently I changed jobs and our work hours now totally clash. In the past, when our hours were similar, I'd always drive to his house in the middle of the night when we were both off of work and see him. I live about 30 minutes away and there were many times when I was really tired and had had a long and shitty day, but I'd make the trip to see him fairly regularily. He'd come to my house on the weekends sometimes, but rarely during the workweek even though we'd be getting up at about the same time. Now I'm going to be working days, although the past two weeks I've been in training mid-day throughout the week. Still getting up at about the same time as him until next week, but I've been trying to get myself on an early schedule. I told him months ago that this change was coming up and I probably wouldn't see him during the week very often. But twice now he has called me before his late shift and offered to come over after work. "Great", I say, "See you then". Then I'd stay up later than I should and wait for him. And both times he's called an cancelled because he didn't feel like coming over after all. WHAT IS THAT?! After I wait up for him? After I shave everything, make the bedroom up nice for him, set the coffee maker for two and everything? He doesn't feel like coming over? I certainly expressed my displeasure to him tonight. I didn't freak or anything, just told him I was upset that he's done this to me twice now this week. The thing is, I wasn't the one who asked him over either time. I saw him yesterday, I'll see him on the weekend. Whatever. I didn't really want to wait up, but I when he suggested we get together I thought it might be nice to see him for a bit. I think it's really rude and selfish of him to do this to me after nine months of me going out of my way for him all of the time. When I accepted this job, I never expected him to come here after work and get up early with me in the morning. No, no, no. But he goes and makes the plans and makes me wait then calls me last minute and cancels. Now I feel like crap. In the past, I've given and given until it hurt, and I've promised myself not to let another man walk all over me. Still, I agreed to see him tomorrow night so now I feel like I'm just seeing him at his convenience. I could tell him last minute that I've changed my mind, but I don't want to play games. He's been a really good guy, but for all I know things will go bad if I let stuff like this happen. I'm scared. I think I am in love with him and I'm afraid of getting hurt, but then again I don't want to overreact about this. Should I just let it go and see him tomorrow? Or am I letting myself be the doormat again? [/b]