Sweet Girl

Well, I guess the inevitable has happened yet again.... but this time it's for good. You have changed into a person I no longer know and it's hard for me to remember who you were. I've also changed into a person I no longer recognize. NYE changed everything in our relationship. It sealed our fate. I stopped loving you the instant I found out you cheated on me and heard from your own mouth the two other incidents involving her and you. Since that day, I've felt betrayed, embarrassed, and deeply hurt. I've tried over and over again to fall back in love with you, to let the protective walls down that I put up in January.... to get those feelings back that I once had for you. The trust that I once had in you. I've been unhappy since January. I've been seeing my therapist weekly for a long time now.... trying to learn how to trust you again. The feelings of love and trust were slowly coming back to me. Those walls were coming down again. At least I was trying with therapy. I didn't give up on it like you did. Once I was contacted by that chic, alerting me of your contact with her and the flirtaciousness/intentions of those contacts, that was my breaking point. She obviously felt it was wrong too for her to contact me.... I'm not dealing with this bull * * * * anymore. You want to play games go play them with someone else. You act like it's no big deal what you do. You always think of yourself and not the person beside you. It's ALWAYS all about you. ALL I wanted to do, was spend some quality one on one time with you and you just blew it/me off time and time again. Everything we did was with your friends. You always made them a priority.... Not me, your girl. I actually do feel relief in a way. Like a weight's been lifted off of my shoulders. I can now finally let go of what happened in January and free myself from that pain. It takes two people to make a relationship work. Not one doing all of the fighting for it and struggling to keep it alive. I did love you. With all that I had to give.... plus more. Actually, I know deep down I do still love you. I wouldn't have invested four years of my life with you if I didn't. I gave you my heart and now there is nothing left to give. Honest to God, I'm empty. I can't be in any type of relationship with you. I'm sorry. I just can't. I hurt too much... I will always question your "love" and loyalty for me. I will always remember the good times we did share. Although lately it seems like the bad times overshadow the good times. I'm sure you'll be with someone new within a week or two because that's how you roll. You'll forget about me in a heartbeat. I actually feel like you already have. I just hope you treat her with respect and actually love her. She deserves nothing less. You are not the easiest person to love. It is goodbye for good. I'm not looking back, just moving forward to better things and new beginnings.... Healing and moving on with my life. I DESERVE happiness and love.