As I'm typing this, I'm sitting at home alone trying to dry up some tears. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and it seems as though times have been getting really tough lately-- to the point that I am wondering if I would be better off alone.
Tonight, he is out with his friends at some club. I feel as though I have to beg him to go out to a club with me on the rare occaisions that we do go, and even then he will act sour and tired the time that we are out. We have no activities that we can share in, despite my efforts to try things out and see if we can't find something we both enjoy doing. I feel as though I really am trying, but he doesn't want to go out with me or do things with me. It really bothers me that if his friends ask him to go clubbing, he will jump at the chance (like tonight) and go often, whereas I have to ask him at least a week ahead of time and really talk him into it.
We've had more issues that I can post here, and I'm sorry if this post seems really scatter-brained. I just feel so angry at myself and I can't stop crying and I just need to let this out. I don't believe I'm anything to be ashamed of and I am a good person-- why won't he take me out? It's really starting to make me feel worthless and pathetic. I wish I had the guts to end it for good and not look back, but I can't seem to even get that right.
