I've been with her for almost 5 years now, she is in school getting her PHD so we are doing the long distance thing (100 miles, we see each other almost every weekend). Things have been great (really great, I'm very much in love with her) except that she is very critical when we are together. She points out things like an ingrown hair or a stretch mark for no reason other than to point them out, and when I ask her about it she says she doesn't know why and comes up with a few different versions (lies) as to why she said it.
I've become very self conscious when I'm around her, I can't stand it when she is looking at me because I'm afraid she is going to point out other faults (no one is perfect, I have no problem with a stretch mark or an ingrown hair), but when she points them out I feel a little/a lot hurt. About 3 years ago she made an uncomplimentary comparison of me to a guy she dated in high school, and I told her how bad it made me feel and she said she was "sorry, but I can't lie to you." (YES, YOU CAN....PLEASE DO!) Anyway, this comes up on occasion and I have given her openings to make up for it and she still sticks to her "I can't lie to you" or even worse like "define had?" when I ask her if I'm the biggest she's ever had. I realize that I may not be, but it is nice to know that you are the biggest and the best to the one you love and the one who supposedly loves you. I've always made sure she knows that she is the smartest, most beautiful girl I've ever been with.
It seems like she is hurting me for a reason, and if so is it time to move on? I am so happy with every part of our relationship except for this, and I'm not sure I can be with her because of some of the things (ok, the thing about my "manhood", which truthfully is pretty good, so I think she is just going for the one thing that bothers guys the most to try and hurt me.) she has said and reinforced, even if she figures out why she is putting me down (she is seeing a therapist to figure it out, I am also). I'd appreciate your input on this. Thanks.
