forbluelove

I wanted to add my reply, Studio, because I am in a similar situation. I have been married for 10 years and have recently starting becoming 'closer' (kissing, being affectionate etc) to a friend I've known for four years. The only difference with me is that I did not chase the OM - he did the chasing. That doesn't make what I've done any less harmful, just makes the situation different. I joined the forum the other day and received a bunch of good advice and hence today told the OM that the relationship is off. I know I made the right decision but it doesn't make it any less painful. I am sorry for the pain I caused both the OM and my husband (though he doesn't know)- and even myself. I do not like myself much at this point and still feel sick over the whole thing but there is no place to go but forward. The thing I really wanted to respond to is your craving for this man. I crave mine as well and I do all the things you spoke of - picturing life with him, etcc.. and I think you - and I - are not craving an actual person, but a fantasy. Affairs are fantasy, not real life. If you were waking up to your OM every day and having the problems with him that you have with your husband, you would quickly find your cravings go out the window. And please don't take this as preaching or lecturing. I am not judging you. I only say things things because I realized them for myself. My advice to you is to take care of yourself and realize when you are deluding yourself. I am glad I finally woke up. I hope things look up for you soon. Please know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.