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  1. interesting how most say to contact police about this matter but you have to consider it from her point of view. If she was to contact police and get her father arrested, what would happen to her? I don't think she wants to do so, it's just me talking about an event that happened today what I was a bit unsure of. Obviously this is not something that happens everyday and I was just wondering if it matters that this happened because of what we did. What should I tell her?
  2. skippy, about the greeting the man of the house thing, you do not know everything that has happened. I have seen him a couple of times and talked to him face to face and the moment he met me, he did not like me right away. Like I said, I am japanese and I know how the asian culture things work. I very much know what I have done is bad but that isn't the problem I wanted to discuss. I really thought the violence that is going around in her house is right.
  3. renaissancewoman, I highly agree with you. I come from a asian family too and I used to get hit over the head etc etc like you have mentioned (not chopsticks though. hahaha) but it had limited. To her dad, it was as if there was no limits just watching the way he took out the anger on her. I couldn't stand watching her getting slapped and kicked all over. The thing I have not mentioned and I know this is SERIOUS is that her father has threatened to kill her.... When her aunt came to pick her up for tutoring, she said she will not leave until he let's me go. Her father's response to that was "I will kill you. You know me by now" in japanese. May not be the exact words but it is close enough. My girlfriend was surprised by that and did not know how to respond. I'm sure that it was just to scare her but I felt that he may have been a bit serious at the point where he said "You should know me by now". I know the responses will be to call the police/authorities but like I said earlier, I should not be making decisions for my girlfriend and I am hoping that she is working it out with her aunt.
  4. I have no idea what is going on right now. I hope she is going to stay with her aunt until her dad cools off a bit but I'm not so sure about the social worker stuff. Her aunt will probably back up my girlfriend (like all normal people) but I am not so sure if she will get to the point of calling the police/social workers. I am not sure if my girlfriend will want me to call so I have to talk to her about it (when I actually do see her.... don't know when that is) but what kind of things can happen to the father? I am just curious what will happen if she does decide to contact the police/ social worker. Thanks
  5. Yes, her aunt walked in as the father kicked her in the stomach. She quickly rushed to him and stopped him. Then she came to the window where I was standing and told me that I should leave. I figured it was my fault so I stay and let her dad yell at me until he's got it out of his mind but she told me that I should leave. Then her dad jumped out the window and pushed me towards the gate without a word. Her aunt then met up in the front with me and had a good bye while keeping her father away. I felt that my girlfriend would be safe with her aunt so I left as I was instructed.
  6. I will agree which how he has the right to EXPECT her to get good grades and know who's she's with but I did not know they have the right to read emails and chat. As for the distance, yes I am stupid but not that stupid. I will leave distance between us as we don't even go to the same school. I just felt that I needed to talk to someone because I did not know if what her dad was doing was okay or not. For the social worker/police, I was thinking about that too but I don't know how she would think about that. I don't think I should make the call but she does. The sad thing is that this is not the first time she's been hit and I felt so sorry for her because of what I've seen today. Her dad seems very abusive and he almost punched me. He raised his hands towards me but he did not strike..... confused.
  7. I agree with the controlling. Also, I might want to say that he is invading privacy. When he was talking to me, he said that he has read ALL of our email/chat conversations. He also started to read through the text messages that I've sent to her when he took it away from her. I have heard from my girlfriend that he has went to therapy a couple of times but he blamed the therapist that HE is wrong. He denied that he is mentally ill on at LEAST 3 therapist that he've seen. If a professional therapist can't help, who can? Also, she has been pressured by her dad to get good grades at school and now has about 5 tutors. She also has no time for herself except on monday (when she doesn't has a tutor). She also can not go shopping with her friends unless the dad knows their PARENTS first. She can not go shopping with ANY guys no matter what. - She also ran away from home a while back once because she felt that he is pressuring her too much.
  8. Today, I go over to my girlfriend's house and sneak through the window because her dad dislikes me for some reason. I give her my valentines gift, she gives me chocolate and that should have been it. Her dad comes home as I was leaving out the window and he walks into my girlfriend's room without knocking. I was standing by the window and her dad pop's his head out the window to see why it was open and catches me. I know I have done something wrong but that is not the problem. He yells at us for a couple mins (30 mins) and he gets so angry that he rages towards my girlfriend and slap/kicks her a couple times. Right then her aunt came to pick her up for tutoring and she stopped him. He told her to go to tutoring or else he would kill her which I thought was a problem. Some things that happened took her cell phone ripped of her cell phone accessories and threw it in the bushes broke the plate my girlfriend gave me chocolates in He was most angry how us being together has brought down her grades (or so he says) but we hardly see each other. As I see it, it's a typical asian father who wants to be over protective of her daughter. I told him that I understand I have done something bad and will never come again but I just don't know what to do.... Any comments? Questions? All details are NOT included.
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