So, this is my first post ever on these kind of forums, never thought I would need advice, but I am a bit confused on this one.
My ex and I were together for four years, started when we were very young (13ish), she was my very first love and I could have never believed I could feel this strongly for another person. But the last couple of months before we broke up things were going a little bit rough, partly because of me being kind of passive and not giving her the attention she deserved and she soon got togethe r with this other guy. She had been talking about wanting to "test the waters" before and stuff like that, who can blame her? We were quite young afterall, but anyway, I was in emotional chaos afterwards but I got out of that after a few months. I initiated contact with her after a few hints from her friends that she was in town visiting, things went well, we talked about the past, present and future. I've seen her twice now, and things have turned out cuddly and I am quite, but not entirely sure she wants back together, but slowly.
Here is the thing, during the three years we did not see each other and she was in her relationship, I have not been in a relationship with another girl, I have mostly been travelling, drinking, sporting and all that with friends and whatnot, I have never really had the desire to jump from girl to girl, I seek deep and meaningful relationships with other people, not going to a bar and bring home girls who I can screw around with and stuff. I feel very, very strongly for this girl and I cannot deny that, I had the most amazing four years of my life with her. However, on some level, it still bothers me a little bit that she has been with this other guy, and I have not had another girlfriend, and it sort of saddens me that she was the first girl I met, because we had nearly perfect chemistry and we still have, it is so easy to talk with her and being myself with her, I have not experienced this before, I have of course been out there and been around a lot of different girls and seen how they are, but far from anything intimate. Some of my friends have had lots of different girlfriends, for short periods of time, and I have had this one girl of my dreams, and now she is back in my life, and with her she brought a flood of emotions. I would really appreciate any thought, advice on this and I would like to thank you if you read this far, just felt I needed to vent this.
