chameleon1218

Thank you so much - I wished I could erase the heartache too but I'm realizing that sometimes pain is a motivator, it helps us move away from that which causes us the pain.

Its been about 2 months since I've logged on and thats because I've been really busy living life and moving forward. It took me awhile but eventually I stopped crying, stopped being angry, stopped asking myself why I wasn't good enough..yadda, yadda, yadda. I immersed myself in activities that mattered to me and even went to see a therapist to find out why I'd been hanging on to a relationship that obviously wasn't working for me for so darned long. Life is better, clearer and back to normal. I did send him an email poured out about 8 years worth of 'stuff' I'd been repressing and then said my goodbyes to a chapter of my life that was long overdue for closure. I still have moments but they don't last long - I just remind myself that life is about forward movement. Thanks to everyone who posted a response your advice was really appreciated. Peace and Blessings, L.

Thank you both for your responses. They really helped. Today was a really hard day but I went looking for help and I found this site. Layman: I wasn't really clear about the nature of my relationship - I was trying to keep the post to the point but he and I were never in a girlfriend/boyfriend type of relationship. To be honest it started out as something that was supposed to be purely physical and temporary. But we never seemed to be able to part ways - its been a really weird relationship. I'd like to say were like soulmates - he 'gets' me and I 'get' him. I've been there for him when he needed me and vice versa. He never said he loved me or anything and I guess I knew all along that I loved him, I've just always known that I'm not 'the one' for him. He told me he was getting married a month ago today. I'm supposed to be happy and I'm not, and its totally blowing me and I've sent the poor guy reeling cause I let eight years of repressed feelings out in one long email. Uggh. But I'll get through this I know I will. I just wish I could be through it like now. Obscurity: I don't really do the club scene anymore (I'm eons older than you both) but I did get my nails done this afternoon and when I finish this I'm going to take a long bubble bath and then watch all of my fave movies. I've taken a personal day just so I can get my brain together. Its a good thing I have my own office - its so unprofessional to cry at work but at least no one saw me. I'm with you on the dating issue - I don't date much as it is (too busy) but definitely not now. If losing my 'safety net' hurts this much I can only imagine how painful losing someone I had a real relationship with would be.

An 8+ yr 'relationship' has ended. I've realized that I've repressed feelings for him the entire time we've been 'involved'. He's marrying someone else - again. I know its time to let go. I've been trying for years. This past month has been hard, the past 24 hours have been very difficult. My head knows all the reasons why but my heart just doesn't want to let go and it hurts - a lot. I don't like it. I've never experienced this before and I really can't take feeling like this. My chest literally hurts right now. How do I get past this and how long will it take? Is there anything I can do to speed up the process??