This is my first time posting on this... so hopeully I explain stuff ok!
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 5 years now. We have been living together for 3 years. For the first year of our relationship it was alway me being the submissive one... I was always worried about him breaking up with me and we fought a lot. After we moved in together things seemed to change, we still fought a lot, but I started getting sick of it. So probably around year 3 I tried to break it off... (and it begins)
So the first time I tried to break it up, I moved into another bedroom to try and distance myself from him until I could move in with my sister. I would wake up in the middle of the night and hear him crying. He would beg me to stay and tell me that he would change, along with a few "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and I don't know what I would do without you". Needless to say I stayed out of guilt basically, and the chance that he would change.
After that he did actually change, he never yelled at me, treated me with more respect ect... but I just never got back any feelings for him. I still tell him I love you, and act pleasant to him, but I just don't think I actually love him anymore. I tried to break it off again about a year ago, and it was pretty much a repeat of the first time. He just cried and made me feel really guilty, and even though I don't know if I love him, we have been seeing each other for 5 years and it hurts me to see him sad. Now I am to the point though were I just feel like I need freedom. I don't enjoy sex, or even sleeping in the same bed as him. I feel trapped.
So basically my question is, how can I break up with him without getting guilted into staying again? Am I doing the right thing by staying with him
Thanks for any advice given!
