lostsoul989

sigh okay i did something really stupid last night and have been up allday because of it okay i got a wild hair and there really isnt a excuse for me to of had done this but theres been alot of drama around me everything is going bad i mean everything. anyways i check my ex gf mail and found out she is 5 weeks pregnant and we broke up 6 weeks ago. im so heart broken and lost and i shouldnt of been snooping. anyways i told her what i did she wasnt happy about it prolly still isnt. but i think she forgave me. i asked her a question if she was still in love with me and she said no but she can still see me in the end a little bit. i guess im stuck in a rut im lost between leaving for overseas and my parnts are spliting or not spiliting there just so much drama i dont know what to do. i have nothing to look forward to not even the military. the goals i have had once before dont even matter nothing really does. i wont do anything stupid but i hurt my best friend by snooping im sorry for it but im glad i found out. i love her to death and im in love with her. i guess its my fault for having a mutaul break up and thinking things could change in the future. so lost!!! cant decide if i want to walk completely out of her life or stay there and be friends. all i know is im hurt cause i was in this relationship for 6 years and i dunno what to do. i just wish i had some strength and something going for me.

hey guys, my ex gf and i just had a mutual break up. we both love each other very much or at least i do. so when we broke up it wasnt easy"why would it be lol" we both cried very hard and didnt want to let go. she said that she cant see her self with no one else.... she and i had to seperete do to she had some issues she has to deal with on her own, and her hurtting me by iqnoreing me in a sense. shes going to a counsuler to get them out she having a hard time dealing with anger and stuff of that sort. anyways we broke up and i still want to be friends cause well we are best friends and i at least want to talk to her. i know she needs her space so i havnt talked to her much other then i got mad at her for deleteing me off msn, she said it was to hard for her and im really trying to understand why? it would be if it was mutual and her the one saying we can be friends.. im leaving for the sandbox soon so im hoping she will talk to me before then. anyways thanks for listening.. or reading in this case.