Hi All,
I really need some advice here. This is really getting me down.
The low down is that last summer I met a girl whilst on holiday abroad. I spent some time with her there, and we really clicked and had a lot of good sex! I invited her to come and visit me (I live in another country, 2 hours by plane), and she flew over and we had a nice time. We've seen each other 5 times since then (just weekends), and it's been nice and quite relaxed. That's begun to change now.
Some weeks ago, we went on holiday for a week. We had a good time, saw a lot together and generally had fun. I began to realise though, that however much I care about her, I'm not in love with her. Maybe this is a problem with me. I don't fall in love quickly. However, we've actually only spent a total of about a month in each other's company, although we met last summer, so maybe that's the reason.
Anyway, I think she's wonderful, sexy, clever, and we get on really well, but there's just no 'fire'. Although she's usually quite reserved with her feelings, she told me the last time we parted that she's never been interested in relationships before, but that with me it's different. She even split up with her boyfriend back home to be with me. There's too much of an inbalance now. I don't think it's good for either of us to stay together.
So, I've come to the conclusion that it has to end, before we drag it out any further and we both get hurt even more. The question is, how do I split up with her given the distance between us? I can't just call her and do it over the phone, because however gentle I am about it, it will seem callous and thoughtless. On the other hand, I can't invite her here for a few days because then I'll have to pretend and make love to her and then tell her that it's over at the end, at which point I'll feel like a worm. I can't write to her. I wouldn't know what to write and it would be cowardly.
Someone help me out please! I care about her a lot, really want to remain friends and desperately want to avoid hurting her as much as possible.
Tristan
