van

Great advice, yes I know the problem is mine and I'm here working on it. This is new to me being married for some 28 yrs. In the time my wife and I knew the history of our respective friends. A lot of my problems stem I guess, from a wife that struck up an affair that ended the marrage with some guy she met over the internet. That broke us up but later she wanted to get back togeather because she came to see what a mistake she made. He turned out to be a BIG looser that could write a great e-mail. I lost a lot of trust there that I need to regain. I guess I was just trying to see if there are standard ground rules for dealing with ex's so each person can make the other as comfortable as possiable. Or just trust (like I should) not let it bother me when once in a while some Ex still has the hots for my wife and just let it go. Women, do you just let it go as harmless??? I'm learning to do what I know is right but sometimes its not all that easy. Maybe someone could explane how they would feel twards a guy that might want her to cheat, but they feel they are in control,don't think it's a big deal , it wasn't going to happen, but they feel they should still be friends with them. Does that make sense? Just getting my sanity back. The break up with my Ex cost me a great deal. 28 years of work, I was retired @45, house paid for, rental income, my trust somewhat, etc., but now am faced with going back to work and starting over. The half I got wasn't enough to keep my life style. I'm going from one world to another and just trying to get some advice on how best to adjust. Thanks V

I guess I just need to learn to be comfortable with her guy friends. It just bothers me when some still have feelings for her, (though she has chosen me to be with), and I think on some level they are tring to get togeather with her. It's something I am trying to learn to deal with. Who likes another guy to have feelings for there wife. Happens, but it's not that much fun. That's why I'm here. To learn and ask advice. I know it's something I need to work out. Also should she, when I meet a guy friend of hers tell me the past between them or keep that to herself so as not to bring up jealousy..... thanks V

My almost wife has a LOT of X's she seems to keep as friends. Some are still in love with her, some have married and some (who knows). She has been single her whole life (till age 51)...till now. Great looking and an awesome person=lots of X's. I was married for 28 yrs. so this is new to me. My problem is how to deal with it. I trust her but not sure on trusting the X's. Also many have known her longer than I have and being (close shall we say) in the past, kinda gives me the creeps. In the beginning she would tell me when I met an X boyfriend or just a guy friend, she has lots ao both, guy and girl friends. This seems to bother her telling me the difference and she has lied a few times about their relationship not wanting to bring up weird feelings. She seems to collect friends like people collect stamps, LOTS. What to do??? Van