mactar

surprise. she calls me up this afternoon and asks me to come over. She tells me she thought about what I said it really made her start thinking about how she didn't like her relations with people and she wanted to change.So, she wanted to try and do something new, but go real slow. So, I said that's all i really wanted in the first place. So, i guess it all worked out for the best. I think helioladies was right, no matter what decision or advice i would have gotten, i would have started second guessing it in the end anyway. I guess you just gotta go with the flow sometimes!

I don't think I'mn wrapped around her fingers at all. The first time when she started giving me the cold shoulder, I just walked away and took what happened for face value. She continued to try and talk to me while I wanted nothing to do with her. But, like i said, I couldn't turn down some sweet tickets. That's when we started talking again and she started acting all clingy. And now, it just seems like a cycle 'cause it feels like i'm right about back where I was. But this is what i was wondering, does stuff like this ever pan out into something? While she's got her terrible qualities, for some reason i still kind of dig her. I'll definetly listen to advice. I just wanted to hear some feedback on what i did and if i was too pushy. helio and diggities, so you guys think I should approach this differently?

Hey guys, Been browsing these boards for a while now, and thought this would be a good place to bounce some ideas off. Oh course, i'm posting because I have a problem and am looking for advice, so...here's my problem: What do you guys (and gals) expect out of a friends with benefits situation? I started talking to this girl and were talking seriously for a month or so. We talked everyday, then one day her whole attitude changed. We didn't talk for a while. Then a couple weeks later she started IMing me again. I was a total head to her everytime. But she kept persisting and then had some concert tickets I couldn't turn down. So we go to the concert. Afterwards, she tells me she's made mistakes, that she had found someone else and that's why her attitude changed. She started talking sweet and stuff and asked me to spend more time with her. We went to the beach the next day with some of my friends, and she acted very attatched to me, holding hands, kisses, ect. I spent the next couple nights over at her place. During this time, she told me that she had been with two other guys after she stopped talking to me. And that she was getting out of a bad long term relationship and wanted to enjoy her freedom, she just turned 21 and didn't quite know what she was doing and that she got carried away. It really pisses me off that she slept with two different guys within two weeks of stopping me cold in my tracks. But, I really like this girl (she's smart, pretty, ambitious...) and was willing to look over that. So sunday night comes around and I ask her what she would be doing this week in terms of guys. Now she tells me she's not looking for other guys, but she doesnt' want to make any promises, and she doesn't want a relationship. I didn't want to give her an ultimatum (sp?) so i just left it at that. The next day she IMs me and tells she that she's just hanging out of the house in the afternoons for the rest of the week and to stop by if i wanted. I think, "sweet, maybe she wants to at least try and date." So, I go by there spend the night and things seems to go well. The next day, she seems to be giving me the cold shoulder, reminicent of the first time she blew me off. I haven't talked to her since. So, here's my question. Am I expected too much from this girl? It seems she wants friends with benefits situation, but I don't think I'm into that, especially when I don't think I can trust her. It would be one thing if she was willing to not sleep with other guys in the meantime, but it doesn't seem that way. Her promiscuity bothers me. She gets very non affectionate at times too. I guess, what I'm asking is: should I wait out this situation and see if things get better? I'm on the brink of not really getting in touch with her again. I mean, all I'm really looking for is to TRY and date...I'm not looking for a long term anything, but if it turns out that way, i wouldn't mind. But I think I'd like to date her for a little while first, meaning she shouldn't be looking at other dudes, just like how I wouldn't be looking at other girls. If things don't work out, I wouldn't really have a problem...but in trying to get to know her better, I've run into this situation..twice. Am I missing something? or thinking about this friends with benefits thing the wrong way? any help would be appreciated!