Crinisis

You don't need to apologize. I appreciate your council. You have added another perspective, or a way of thinking beyond the other. Thankyou Kita, Crinisis

Friscodj, I understand the subtle approach to your wording. Can I unturn every rock but one? Leaving doubt in my mind only allows me to dwell in the past, and not the present. [begin Analogy] Analogy of Your wording is the equivalent of a prophecy of my own defeat. Leading in to battle, knowing that you have only one sword against thousands. Seeing flashes of my own death. Yet.... What if one word, or action sway them all? It is improbable, but not impossible. If I didn't fight them all, then how would I know who would win for sure. If there is doubt, then I can never live in the present. If I can't live in the present, then I will remain a ghost of the past. To forever haunt my troubles. The prophecy of death wasn't the death of my mortal coil, but the death of my character. The warrior turned from a simple man in to something beyond. That beyond would determine necessary factors for turning the tides. Did the man turn in to a god? Did he turn in to a religious converter, or a thousand man killer? Or did he like every other character in the ending, die as a brave hero, to move on in to the realm of death and move on in to the future by allowing himself to be in the present. [End analogy] I have to live life in the present, to experience, is to be human. This is the all knowing movie that has already played, and forever will play. I have contacted my ex, in doing so, I have relieved a big pressure from my chest. The pain has lessened considerably. I have to follow my life lessons, my intuitive side that will hopefully take me on the right path. Time will tell. No contact has allowed me to cut off incoming pain, and deal with the pain that was currently inside me. It allowed me to concentrate on that pain, and to change and grow as a person. However I do require more.... And if I'm wrong, and you are right. I can at least say that I tried.... As long as I don't compromise my integrity,my values, my character values, and try to do good for myself, then and only then will I be able to move forward. I thank you for your words, heart, and true understanding. ~Crinisis

Friscodj, The pain is great. I have tried over the course of five months to forget her. When I'm in a good mood, when I don't long for her, I still love her. When I'm at my worst, that love is twisted. It won't go away. Its always there. It won't shutoff. My loyalty unyielding, a trait that has caused me much pain. My memory serves me until the end of days. It won't let me forget her. I'm sure you have been there. I'm not a unique case. I tell myself that over and over tp serve my humility. Even when I talked with her, I put my shields up, I even try to be aloof, but my smiles come back when all she has to do is be herself. Did she care to call? No. Did she care to see me? No. What kind of person could do this? A person with out a conscious? You are probably right.... ....but what if you are wrong? Do you know why it hurts so much? Yes, the break up was a big factor, but it was the promisises between two people that she would seek me first. Unfortunately I'm a person about principle, in a world of uglyness, where there isn't black and white, but uneven greys. I feel alone and fragile. oh well. I guess things just happen. MOVE ON. MOVE ON.... or will anyone combat his counsel?

I'm relatively new to the forum. I need some help, I don't know what to do. I love this girl, and she left me because she needed time to herself. She told me that if we were meant to be together than we would. I want to be able to be alone with her and soul talk....and finish this whatever will or will never be situation. Its been three solid months that I have contacted her, when I came from school to work back at where I originally met her. We have been together for 6 months. I'm trying to see if she meant what she said, that she would wait for me with out actually asking her. Shes been hanging with this guy non-stop and its killing me because she follows him around all the time. She stopped responding to my emails and has blocked me. Yes....I don't know why, except that she just doesn't want to deal with me. When I came to work, she waved and eventually said hi to me, only when he wasn't around, but this is the second day only. She asked me whats up, and I said nothing much. I kept a low profile, I wanted her to do the talking. I wasn't overly forward, but polite. I asked her how she was, and she told me that she was tired of hanging out with her friends. All they do was drink. I don't know if shes going out with the guy, because she hangs around guys naturally. The guy talks to me a bit, and when she got drunk, she went over to her lady friend's houses. Normally I would think that she would be going over to his house. A couple of questions..... How can I know if shes going out with the guy with out presenting myself weak.? How do I get her to get interest in me. What should I show? I would appreciate any comments.... thanks, Crinisis