Instead of telling about how pathetic my life is I shall bore you with a short description of my lame self, then complain. Here we go.
First of all, I see myself as a total social loser. Even though I'm still 16 years old (17th birthday next month) and all of you might think it's okay for my age, it's not. If I saw me posting this a year ago I'd totally kick my butt, because then life was incredibly awesome and I actually felt happy. But life has taught me an important lesson that no matter how nice your existence is today, tomorrow it all may be gone. I've got (or had anyway) plenty friends (who are great people too) but there's this one little problem. This September my parents got a totally genius idea of moving, and not your casual city/state move, but get this, we changed countries.
I'm a person who rarely goes out and doesn't like communicating with new people much, I'm a shy bastard. But life was actually forming rather nicely, I met a nice, cute girl, had fun experiences with friends, had really high grades in school, lived in an awesome town and so on. It was perfect. Then one day life decides to slap me and mess everything up. Sweet. We moved to London.
So now I'm a foreign student going to college (UK colleges = year 11 and 12 like in other, normal countries). I don't know a single person there, I feel as if I'm not needed or wanted. As in my existence has no meaning to it. I spend my days inside the house doing nothing but thinking of what I'm missing out on at home. I just, exist. Another problem is that I'm usually an optimistic, energetic person on the outside, but that's just the outter shell, inside I'm totally different, now I always feel sad, I feel as if something is missing, I try to hide it. It does work, but I'm not doing myself any good with this.
I haven't felt happy at all since September. Then more comes in, even though I'm a foreigner, my accent is American (I'm not an American btw) and the wankers make fun of me for that. Problem is, English isn't my native language, so I can't defend myself with words that much, they'll just humiliate me even more. I've made some friends but it just doesn't feel the same. The culture, mentality is so freaking different it's not funny anymore. I also have trouble making relationships, I have no idea how I managed to do it back home, but now I fail. I can't socialize with people here because, as I mentioned before, they're so different I can't even relate. I always get picked on in my economics class, either for my american accent or because I'm the only white person in that class. I'd gladly defend myself. But then again the dumb asses making my life miserable are 21, yes, twenty one. So I'm at a little disadvantage here. I have no idea why the English government allows such age differences in schools. Everything I loved and cared for is now gone. I do go back home on holidays, however it's not the same anymore, now I get treated differently. Whenever someone tries to speak to me I just don't know how to keep the conversation alive. I see myself as a loser, a person with no meaning in life.
So a quick summary:
I moved, lost everyone relationship I had, get treated like a piece of guess what ... Basically I suck. Why am I posting this? No idea. What to do? Force myself to forget about everything and move on? Doesn't work, as hard as I try, it just does not.
