personman

I guess the reason I posted was because I wanted someone to tell me that it's about time I got what I wanted and that's what should be most important to me. But it's not. I know that all of you are saying the right thing. I did the right thing. Now I am here alone and my dignity can't hold me in it's arms. Plus, I don't have anybody to care whether I'm a guy who does the right thing or not. I guess the whole situation sounds really cliche'. It's not. I guess this is the part where now people tell me that I'll eventually meet someone better and it will be great. Sure, maybe someday I'll meet someone. Nobody is like her, though. I've never been too lucky with women. They all think that I'm super cool, fun, good looking, and sensitive; but the very few I really fall for always go for someone else. I can't have casual sex, because I need it to be born of love. So, now I am drowning in my own desire. Maybe someday doing the right thing and doing what will make me happy will be the same thing.

I am in love with a girl who is engaged to her boyfriend of 5 years. She has recently reciprocated the sentiment. She says that I am everything she wanted in a guy, but that she has learned to settle. She has no plans of leaving him because it would be very hard and it might just not work out between us anyway. She has tried to be physical with me a number of times. I am kind of friends with her boyfriend, so I have refused. It is killing me though, because he doesn't treat her that well and she is so incredibly beautiful. She is coming by my apartment today for us to sort things out. I think she wants a fling and then to call it quits. I guess I should just say no....but I have never know the like of this, I've been alone and have missed things and kept out of sight. But other girls were never quite like this. So do I betray a friend or myself?