cyberleeze

Of course I don't want to lose my job. And neither does he, which is why he acts so weird afterwards. But he keeps coming back, which is what I don't understand. I have never approached him prior to any encounter, so it's always him that instigates any contact. Unfortunately, at this point, I'm not strong enough to say no as long as he's pursuing.

Since I first posted the reply, this guy at work has approached me 3 more times at work (this was after the "I'm freaked out" speech he gave me) I wish I could say I was strong and resisted, but I didn't. So the pattern has become... He approaches me and starts with the flirting and touching, we have some sort of intimate contact (still at work) and then he ignores me for about a week and then the cycle starts over. I've read all the posts and appreciate the advice. But a lot of you posted that he was ignoring me because he did'nt want a repeat performance, so... was just wondering what your thoughts were now. The problem with my marriage has to do with my lack of attraction to my husband of 8 years and since that's not something I can "fix" and I'm not telling him or leaving him, I'm just looking for advice on how to handle my feelings during the "ignored period", from any guys out there who can maybe give me some insight on what could possible going on in that head of his. Thanks

Spader, thanks for the understanding words. My husband and I do not work at the same place. Hearing that you've been there also, what did you end up doing? Did the person you cheated with still talk to you?

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm not remorseful. I'am, but my marriage has been shaky long before this, starting a year ago when I found out my husband had posted profiles on, not one, but two dating website! We actually met online 9 years ago. I'm not blaming him for what I did, or trying to make him out to be the villian. But he's not the innocent trusting soul one might think he is. I have everything you all are saying coming to me, I don't deny that and I appreciate your words. Telling my husband is not going to fix our marriage. I love my husband, but the physical attraction isn't there for me anymore. But I'm not going to leave him or destroy him by telling him about my mistake and I know it WAS My Mistake.

I don't have any intentions of telling my husband, since it was only once, and it won't happen again. I spend more time with the man at work, than my husband since we're on completely opposite shifts. That's my concern with the guy at work.

I appreciate all the replies. I think the reason I went outside my marriage is that it was exciting to be desired by another man, especially an older one. I admit my mistake and just want to get past this at work. I deal with him and see him throughout my shift, so it's difficult to go on when he barely acknowledges my presense. Any man out there wanna answer this? If he was so hot to go and start something, why does he now see me as the problem?

After working for a year with a coworker, he suddenly started talking to me more and making flirting comments (We're both married). I have to admit I enjoyed the attention, so when he approached me in a secluded area of work and starting kissing me, I did'nt resist. For a week we would sneak off to empty offices (we work third shift) and things progressed. He kept wanting to have sex in the office and when I finally gave in, the next day he told me he was freaked out about the risk we took and his performance (he had trouble staying "excited") . Now even though I have'nt mentioned anything about what happened, he avoids me at all cost and won't even look at me. I'm not looking for a future with him, I just want him to be mature about this and treat me like he did before. After all, he started this and pursued it to it's conclusion. Anybody have any ideas on what's going on with him? By the way, he told me this isn't the first time he's cheated. It's my first though.