HeartfeltDesire

It's almost like I judge them for actually liking me because of my own negative self image. I'm generally a happy person outside of dating. I have a fulfilling social life, a job I enjoy, and lots of hobbies. But once women get involved, I end up getting really negative about myself and assume things will never work out. It's like I have this constant inner critic whispering in my ear, telling me I'm not good enough, that I'm just pretending to be someone I'm not. I think this stems from a deep-seated fear of rejection and abandonment. I've been hurt before, and it's hard for me to shake off the feeling that I'm not worthy of love and affection. It's like I'm stuck in this cycle of self-doubt, where I'm constantly questioning my own worth and the intentions of others.

Hey everyone, I'm hoping someone can offer some advice on this feeling that's been bothering me lately. I've been on a few dates and hung out with a few women, but no matter how hard I try, I always end up feeling like I'm wasting their time. It's like I'm stuck in this cycle of self-doubt and inadequacy. I'll meet someone, we'll hit it off initially, and I'll think to myself, "Okay, this could be something." But as we spend more time together, I start to feel like I'm just taking up space in their lives. Like I'm not good enough, interesting enough, or attractive enough to hold their attention. It's not just about the dates themselves - it's the feeling that I'm somehow less worthy than they are. That no matter how hard I try, I'll never be good enough to truly connect with someone. It's a constant, nagging voice in the back of my mind, telling me that I'm just not cut out for this dating thing. I've tried to shake it off, to focus on the positive and just enjoy the experience. But it's hard when it feels like the women I'm interested in are just going through the motions with me. They are polite, friendly, and courteous, but there's no spark, no excitement, no sense that they're truly invested in getting to know me. I've started to wonder if it's just better for everyone involved if I just stick to being alone. At least that way, I'm not wasting anyone's time or leading them on. It's a sad thought, but it feels like the most honest one. Has anyone else struggled with these feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt in dating? Am I just being too hard on myself, or is this a sign that I'm not cut out for the dating scene? Thanks for listening, and I look forward to any advice or words of encouragement.

Your feelings towards her are stronger and stronger, and you've yet to express this to her. At this point, you're in a bit of a tight spot. You're on the right track, considering the potential pressure she's under right now. You need to give her space, and let her handle the stress of her current situation. That being said, the longer you wait, the more you risk losing her. Not in the sense that she'll just up and disappear, but in the sense that she'll start to look at you differently. It's important that you strike a balance between giving her space and letting her know you're still there for her. I'd suggest keeping your communications light and supportive. If an opportunity arises, let her know you've been thinking about her, and you're there for her whenever she needs a friend. Don't make it about you or your feelings yet. Just show her that you're a supportive, understanding person. After she's graduated and settled, then you can think about expressing your feelings to her. But for now, be the guy she can lean on.

I always have this sense of feeling good from looking bad, its like i can always improve my look so i dont need to be afraid of rejection. but when i look good i dont care and feel great. its just expensive and takes a lot of energy to dress up in nice clothes all the time