Amandatorimeating

Sorry the previous post was to Tiny dance.

It's odd how angry some people are getting that I didn't fancy meeting up? We exchanged a few messages and that was it, he's a stranger. Nobody owes anyone anything.

I understand what you mean, I really don't think my standards are high, and even if they were then surely that's a good thing. I really don't see why I was obliged to meet with somebody if I didn't want to? Are you telling me that if you've ever exchanged a few messages with someone, you absolutely must meet them in person under any circumstances? I didn't like the sound of him, I'm not looking down, I just didn't find him attractive, that's all.

Thank you. I think we want what we want, I don't for the best looking, richest or whatever, just someone I feel something about. He may well have been different in person, but the TV is such a minute aspect of it, it's not about how much TV he does or doesn't watch. It was just stuff like we didn't seem to have any shared interests. He seemed to have zero curiosity about the world and hadn't even visited the next county along, said he'd never do something like live abroad. I found his attitude to life unattractive, he may have been really funny in person or whatever but I just didn't want that. He may well have found something off putting about me but I guess that's dating.

I don't understand some of the catty comments. Maybe he got the 'ick' too, he's entitled to do so. No point of me going to meet him out of pity. If I didn't like the sound of him by text, what's the point of me going? Surely people here have spoken to men online but decided they didn't want to go ahead with meeting, you're just strangers at that point, nobody owes anyone anything. Lot of focus on the TV/films thing, it was just one example,but yeah maybe I wanted someone I had more in common with, no point settling. Anyway doesn't look like we'll be meeting now fortunately.

I was going to go and give it a chance. However he cancelled last minute anyway so.

It's going to be a very quick meet up over coffee so not much invested if there's no interest luckily.. will see what happens?

I decided to go and give it a chance.

It's not just films /books/TV, it's anything. He hasn't named any hobbies or interests. People can say I'm mean, but why should I go if we don't seem to have much in common? He's better to meet someone he's more in common with.

I'm not trying to be harsh on him I just don't feel like we have much in common. I'm sure he's a great guy but what's the point in going if the texting has already gone dry.. he's probably talking to a few girls anyway. Maybe I should go and I'll be pleasantly surprised, or maybe he'll not be into me, who knows.

The coworker has asked me to meet up again next week, which I wasn't expecting, but I'm not getting my hopes up. However no it's not even that, I just find it off putting that the guy can't even name 1 thing he watches or reads.. I did feel quite excited about him but not so much now.

Also I live in the next county along which is full of beautiful countryside, beaches, conversation areas and so on. It's literally 5 minutes away. This guy has apparently never visited the county in his life despite being almost 35...like not even curious.

It's from OLD. I'm probably sounding very picky but he just seems to have no imagination or passions. We were talking about films and he couldn't even tell me a film he'd seen recently or a film he'd like to see. He told me genres he liked but that was all, he couldn't even name a series he was watching, just mentioned watching the footy. He doesn't seem to be reading a book ATM. His messages were funny, interesting and charismatic but I just find this really off putting. When you're in person and you're nervous, your mind can go blank when asked about films etc I get that, but this is all by text and I haven't met him yet. Also what's this thing of men on OLD still living with parents in mid 30s? I get it's hard to save for a deposit, but they wouldn't even live in a houseshare or something and at least have independence at 34 for goodness sake. Anyway, I guess I'm getting the ick. He looks attractive from pics and seems a fun guy, but I just don't think I should go. Would you cancel?

Sorry I only just saw these replies. Thank you for replying, I think I just wasn't used to spending a lot of time with her so closely. She is a great parent and I guess we just have different personalities. Usually I don't spend a few days at a time with her so I'm sure it'll be easier from now on.

It's also the lack of trust, as if I'm some daft kid who isn't capable of organising myself, when I've never proven otherwise.

It's just the lack of space/privacy. When I briefly lived with them she would just come into my bedroom and constantly needed to know what I was doing all the time. It's hard to never be irritated.

She's told me again to make sure I bring my passport. I reminded her that I'm not going to leave my passport behind.. she said that our friend has missed flights before, and I told her that I am not them.

Daft questions, like she's seen me working, coming to and from work on many occasions, she knows I'm in a back office role and she knows perfectly well it's casual dress, I think she just does it for effect because she asked me in front of our guests 'So do you wear a uniform to work?" Like seriously what..

I'm in my mid 30s and have just been away for a couple of days with my Mum (we paid for ourselves) I haven't lived at home for 7 years apart from a brief few weeks after a break up, and I admit I forgot what it's like. I feel bad saying it as she cares and is a very good Mum, she's just too much sometimes. She still sees me as a child I suppose. I've lived abroad for many years, and travel a lot alone but all the time on the trip she's saying 'make sure you've got your passport/tickets/are you sure you know where we're going/Are you sure this is right' etc. We stayed in an air BnB with seperate rooms next to each other. Just before bed I wanted to relax with a book or music but I couldn't because she kept shouting things into my room to ask me mundane questions or make random comments. Then complaining how my room is better than hers even though I offered her this room several times and she wanted the other one. Finding excuses to constantly come in like, my mirror is 'better' . Constantly panicking if she doesn't find something immediately "Where's my hairbrush?!' 'where's my charger?!' 'have you got it?' Then bursting into my room to have a look for it before finding it a minute later in her handbag. She says 'Shall we leave for 9am?' I say yes ok, and then at 8:30 I'm getting asked if I'm ready yet, if I'll be ready soon and so on. I've managed so far in life to be on time for things 99% of the time on my own. If she tells me to be ready for 9 I will be, it's annoying that she then changes it to be earlier as it suits her. We had one bathroom and she was saying ' What time are you going for a shower because I really need one' constantly. Just go for a bloody shower when you want and stop trying to force me to have one now. Constantly commenting on how we need to 'find me a man'. I'm only here for a couple of bloody days so there's obviously no point, and I'm not desperate to have one, I keep telling her this. The last thing is constantly interrupting people when they speak. It's so rude when she keeps cutting people off, even if not meaning to. My Mum can be quite sensitive and I try to be assertive but kind, by telling her I'm fine, I can manage xyz on my own or just telling her I need space. Not sure how else to manage it or if I'm being overly harsh? It just gets too much.

Yes I wouldn't even if it were like "We are doing viewings this Saturday between 9-5" but 'over this week' is so vague and literally could be any time. They also didn't need to stand right outside the bathroom, they could've looked at another room. Tbh I don't like it here that much anyway but I've only been living here a month.

They are supposed to give 24h notice before viewings of the HMO we live in, however our landlord/agent sent out a generic msg on Monday saying "There will be viewings of the spare rooms going on this week." I didn't know that would also include the weekend. I live in a HMO with a shared bathroom. Decided to take a bath, obviously locked the door. My bedroom is literally across from the bathroom and the house is incredibly quiet, all female so usually I walk back to my bedroom in my towels/dressing gown and get changed there. I was just getting out the bath today and putting the towel around me when I heard the landlord's voice and another voice I didn't recognise. Before I knew it the landlord was explaining where the bathroom was, and tried to open the door even though I had clearly locked it. I explained I was just changing, and they waited outside. I then had to awkwardly open the door to the landlord and a stranger wrapped in my bath towel and quickly get back to my room. I think notice should have been provided, and weekends aren't appropriate. Tenants should be allowed quiet enjoyment of their property and privacy.

Don't feel bad. I get emotionally attached after sex too, and I've had many previous partners who 'suddenly' lost interest after sleeping with me. It does hurt when you can see the instant change in their vibe. Try and ask for another date, find out what's up sort of thing. If not, he isn't the one, but there will be lots of men out there who don't treat you like this.

You're right. this thread has helped me not to push/rush things.

To be honest sometimes I fancy him and other times I don't, so it's probably best to not pursue anything more. That said, I am a little attached to him for some reason, I got used to talking to him daily and so I'm trying to still be in contact but take a step back now..

I feel like I really put him off by suggesting that, which is daft as it's such an innocuous thing, surely the right person wouldn't be put off?