I’ll cut straight to the point, I’m a 27 year old mom of 3 dating a 40 year old dad of 4. I don’t mind how many kids we have between the both of us, I really like them and they’re on the older side and get along with mine pretty good. He treats me really good, better than I ever have been treated before, I feel very emotionally and physically safe with him. We have great chemistry in and outside the bedroom, we have a lot of fun. He’s a great guy, loves God, encourages me when I’m down, makes me dinner, cleans and takes me out.
Here’s where it gets complicated… he lost his gym during COVID 3 years ago, got a divorce, lost all the money from his divorce and got into a lot of debt, plus the debt from his failed business. It took him 2 years to find a steady job and that was only because he was living out of his truck and I told him I wasn’t going to be with him unless he got a job. He did side gigs here and there but his excuse always was “he’s trying to figure what he really wants to pursue”. Things got a little better after he got a job. He got a one bedroom apartment and his kids visit more often now but I think he has issues with ex over child support.
My issue is that I don’t feel like he’s a provider, I don’t want to be the breadwinner of this relationship goes further (marriage) I have a good job and pay all my bills on my own. I feel like he has a poor and victim mentality. He says he wants to start a business and provide for me but he never actually sticks to anything and follows thru. I’m the one always giving him ideas on what to do or how to do it. Idk I feel really resentful and just drained, I don’t feel like I can trust him to lead me or a family if we ever become one, I don’t trust him with finances or to run a business.
I’m really torn because I want to give him the chance and I know it’s been a rough couple year for him, but some days I feel like there’s no hope. Any advice is appreciated 😩
