you know, your right, i should keep myself busy, and i know that i could have it a lot worse. it sucks. i just got done caming with her, and everything i see her face, it just makes me want to cry because i cant be with her at that time. i just want to be with her so bad... i love her so much and would never do anything to hurt her...gosh i am getting teary eyed just thinking about it. you guys are all great. thanks for reading and giving your input.