Daisychains660

Thanks all for the help. I guess you are right. We’ve lived together so I’ve about 5 months in . No I’m not sure I want kids in the future. Last night I was just drunk so I blurted out I want a baby. There’s a lot about having kids that seems unappealing to me and I really don’t feel ready, I don’t have a career or income now either, but I guess my feelings were I love him so I want to have his child and I even asked him “when you love somebody you want to have kids with them right ? And he agreed that yes, it’s true but rationally there are other factors to consider and I know right now logically it’s not time but maybe in the future I will want them. & he said the same but im not sure if he will ever want them. Maybe I don’t know that myself. I’ll know better with time, so I think I will at least give it the year timeline he has and after I graduate see where we’re both at.l before we take next step like marriage etc. I love him a lot. and sorry to be clear he said he would be a stay at home dad because ill make so much but I suggested I didn’t want him to ever have to give up his career and seeing as how he’s an artist I didn’t think he would need to but you’re probably right that I’m wrong about that. Neither one of us have much experience with kids but he seems good with them

To me I think if you’re ready to marry this guy you should feel close enough to have open and honest talks with him about what’s going on. With my guy, I explained how I felt concerned and rejected with the drop off and my bf assured me it was typical for him for his libido to drop off and not me. I even asked him if it could be porn because I know that can cause lack of interest in many men, but he didn’t think it was the problem as he didn’t watch it much ( I have no problem with him watching if it doesn’t interfere with our sex life) I will say I’d have a problem with my guy paying for porn with cam girls, that’s a step too far for me and I think is a deeper problem, but that’s just me. Anyway , talk to him about it .

To be honest why I didn’t bring it up sooner is because I wasn’t sure I wanted kids… and still don’t..like I don’t have a time frame for it or ever envisioned it. That’s why it’s hard for me to So firmly walk away now too because I don’t even know if I want. But I want to know the option is there. Also since he said he would have kid with me later it gives me hope. But chance he’s placating me and also he seemed happy when I talked about it which makes me feel it’s just flattering to him that I would. And said we should discuss marriage first but that’s a big commitment if we’re not compatible and and the relationship will be even deeper. I know I must get out now it’s just hard because he loves me a lot and vice versa . He always says he sees us together forever and so did I

It’s only been 2 weeks. I speak based on experience because my bf has had periods where his sex drive dipped (from wanting into every day to only 2 times a week or so. Sex in LTR can ebb and flow. I was worried too but we’re back to everyday now almost and i kinda wish it’d go back to less haha

Thanks I agree with you. Just the thing is I feel it’s a legitimate reason rather than excuse ( for now) because I honestly would not want to have a baby right now either ,as I am not working at all ( I’m a student , but will have extremely good income after I graduate this may ) and he barely makes enough for us to live on as it is ( he is a freelance artist in the process of looking for better employment) But he talked about being a work from home dad as well which I think id be ok with. anyway I We don’t have enough money so it would be messed up to bring a baby in the world right now. But you’re right I don’t want a future with someone who never intends to have a kid and just keeps making excuses or strings me along in case I change my mind in the future. Because I really do love him but I do want the option and want him to feel the same

Good points :’( thank you

Thank you. Yes that’s a good idea. I was a little drunk and emotional. He said he doesn’t think I want kids either, just the option, which might be true right now. He said that’s how he feels but he might in the future after a couple years when we have financial stability. He brings up marriage a lot but we haven’t really talked about it seriously yet. The resolution last night was that we pinky sweared on having a baby one day but I don’t want someone who doesn’t want to but I keep thinking deep down maybe he does because he says he said maybe some day. Also he jokes I stopped taking my birth control Implying I’m baby crazy then comes in me without protection but I’ve never implied I wanted them before yesterday

Thank you it hurts to hear but you’re right. It’s hard because I’m not sure and we are compatible in every other way but I have to let go

My 32m bf and I 27f been together a year and live together. I talked to him about kids yesterday and I said I want kids and he said he’s definitely not ready now because he still has things he wants to do and want to get more financially stable first but he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want them because it’s a lot of responsibilities but if he ever did Im the only he’d want them with. He said but before we consider it I need to finish school ( I graduate in may)and be secure for at least a year. I said I need more security and certainty he wants a baby or we aren’t compatible. He laughed and said “don’t get all baby crazy on me now” And that I haven’t responded much to the topic of marriage which he thinks should come first. I said I think it’s beside the point and this is about plans to have kids. Right after this talk we had sex and he came in me and we role played making a baby. It just made me feel sad after so I told him I need to know he promised baby someday because according to him “it’s the only answer I’ll accept”. I guess I feel conflicted now. I love him with all my heart and I don’t want to leave him but now I worry we’re incompatible and he’ll never wants kids. To be clear I’m not ready to have kids now either but I want to have the option in the future and not regret