justplainme

I do think you are overthinking it, you have spoken to him and he has said he does not see her romantically the thing is relationships are built on trust and i know its hard i can feel like this too but when you like someone that much your brain starts to think the worst i would just say be yourself and try and get past this because the worst case is you could end up pushing him away however it is fine to talk about feelings because relationships are built on being open and communitive along with trust. I wish you the best and hope you can get over this issue you are facing

then you have to do the hardest thing and move on trust me i have been dating someone which is everything i want and need in my life but she just is not into me as much as i am to her but i have to walk away and will be doing that next week it will be an emotional rollercoaster but you have to do whats right for you and you alone, with my exwife i found it all went downhill the moment i just loved her and was no longer in love with her and that took me 6 years to finally set myself free and as hard as it is it is also the best thing i ever did so good luck to you and remember to take care of yourself

i had something similar with my ex wife we discussed getting divorced a few times and i just could not go ahead due to having children and we stayed together for 20 years but when they grew up we became more of friends than lovers/partners and i knew that we had to separate and file for divorce it was the hardest thing i have ever done and i do still miss her sometimes when i feel low but its also one of the best things i have done because i can be me and free

in my marriage i had this feeling a few times and just did not find her attractive and i loved her but knew i was not in love with her and it got to a stage where i tried and tried but i could not change what i felt as she was not a romantic woman or showed affections, i was married to her for 20 years but in the end i knew i was not happy and i ended the marriage in ways it was the best thing i have done and also the worst because sometimes i wish i worked on it but when you get attention elsewhere its hard but the grass is not always greener. i would suggest that you speak with her and maybe get relationship counseling if thats an option but you have to do whats right for you in the end

noted sorry

thing is she has never in anyway said she does or dosent see potential, the going with the flow was mentioned because of her last long relationship where she also met from the same site she rushed into things and she got hurt she has explained to me that she does not want to do the same mistake and thats why she wants to go slow and with the flow. i would be totally fine with this but its the little things like the distancing that is what got me anxious. i am not oblivious to the truth and i know it does not look good but what if the damage that was caused in the previous relationship has put up a wall we all do it this is why i want to treat her the same way i always do be kind, romantic and make her feel a million dollars and then i will have a heart to heart with her with using the "I" statement and let her speak and listen if she does not feel the same or see anything then thats fine but i would also tell her that then this is the last time we will speak or see each other because its not fair on either of us Sorry for diverting from the original topic

no i have not said that i am not happy to go with the flow and that i want to end whatever this is unless she wants to learn the same things, i am not asking to be in any serious relationship that does take time but i just cant be doing with the distance and change from her so i just want a last potential meet with her like everything is planned and then have the discussion in the morning or the evening i know i am mad still going but its something i need to do for me.

Kind of where i am with a woman i know i am going to get hurt and i have decided after my night away in two weeks i will be laying all my cards on the table and in my head i know what the response will be. yes i am mad for still going away for the night but i also want to see her for maybe the last time

i was referring to my problem and post, yes at first i thought it was sarcastic but i took a step back and see that the comments were straight no messing about and saying it how it is but thats on my post.

I don't know what its like where you are but the company i work for has strict rules against relationships with coworkers and you have to let HR know that there is any interest because the company needs to protect themselves and their employees, maybe have a chat with your HR and ask the question you don't have to mention names etc. but get the evidence if its a no no from the company then you unfortunately have to remain coworkers and that's it as hard as that is when you like someone. however if the company does not have strict rules then try and arrange a coffee outside of work and lay your cards on the table and see what happens but try not to get to emotionally involved because i am having issues with this with the Woman i am seeing. one thing i will say is the comments from Batya33 are really good and these comments have helped me figure out what my next move is. i wish you all the best

can i ask where did you meet this woman? as you mentioned FWB was it a hook up site? as i met someone from a hook up site and we didnt ever go down that route and i like her she did like me but its becoming very distant now and i am struggling to understand whats going on in my own head, but from advice i have been given from my own situation i think it does not help that i met this woman from a hook up site and have been reading the signs all wrong.

yes i agree with smackie9s response he could be worried that he could lose his job and if he did take a shot with you and it did not work out he could be thinking about that, however the key i find is eye contact you said he has good eye contact, maybe just approach him one more time and just ask to talk tell him you like him and would like to get to know him more and explain that nothing will affect the working relationship. me myself i am a very romantic man well i try and if i liked someone and picked up the signs then i would make the move but i have my own dilemma with a woman i am dating so maybe i am not the best person to offer advice however i wish you all the best and hope that it works out for you