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Hello everyone!!! I just came to the realisation that I never updated on this story (for which I apologise lol) I ended up being so fed up with the situation that I broke up with him shortly after our Christmas trip. I don't think he ever cheated on me, but if he is THIS busy with work he should just focus on that instead of also trying to date me. It's like a switch in my head suddenly clicked and made me realise I want to be with someone who can and will (at least to a normal extent lol) be able to properly communicate and spend time with me. I'd like to thank every single response I've gotten here, made me able to put things into perspective xoxo

Fair point

To answer your questions: He has dated a couple of people before me, and yes we are exclusive. He does initiate getting together as well, I'd say its 60% me 40% him. I've met a couple of his friends, and he rarely texts or checks his phone when we're together but that was also the case when we were hanging out with said friends. I also thought the same, but I've also avoided texting people back for DAYS because of depressive episodes so idk. Which is why I'm gonna properly talk about it next week, and if it gets me nowhere I have all the information I need I guess. Thanks for the reply!

I just don't feel like blowing up his phone or texting more is the solution for this. I agree with you on the fact that the irl stuff is more important!! We see each other about once a week usually by the way. It really was just in a passing conversation like "your texting has been so slow lately" "oh yeah sorry work has been insane lately" and then we just started talking about the next thing. So do still think it might be best to maybe just express myself more clearly on the matter once and see where it goes after? Because like Batya33 said it's mostly about the texts for making plans, and it can get annoying when those don't really get a response as fast. I appreciate your insight!! Thank you!!

He just does part time to pay for his rent until he can find a more permanent full time job. And yes! he has shown admiration for my grad degree! Also like your suggestion, I have been keeping busy with both school and my friends who live close to me here so it's not like I'm waiting all day for him to reply. the two day thing has only been happening fairly recently, and like I said it happens to be a busy period for him (part-timers usually get more hours in December nearing the holidays, this was also the case when I worked my student job), which is why I've mostly let it slide for now. I will see where it gets me! At the end of the day his irl behavior very loving Thanks for the advice!! 🙂

I mean lately he replies late, but when he does we always manage to set up a time to meet. He's never cancelled on those dates and is very attentive during them, so I guess I wouldn't really call it ignoring perse. Which is why I've been feeling so conflicted about the situation. I'll try and see where that conversation brings me!! I'm currently (maybe naively so) holding onto the hope that we can find a solution/middle ground by properly addressing this and having a healthy conversation/discussion about it.

Thank you for the replies! It's nice to have my feelings validated because I had been feeling like I was going crazy and was maybe overreacting. We have two-day trip together next week for Christmas that's already booked and payed for so I will have a proper conversation about it during that. Again I'm not good at 'confrontation' like this. But thanks to your replies I know I can stand my ground and let go of him if he's not willing to change this. Thank you all for the insight! (update might follow after Christmas) (also I obviously meant my "boyfriend (M26)" lol)

(English isn't my first language so please bear with me) Me (F23) and my boyfriend (F26) have been dating for two months now. He works part-time a lot and this means that his time we can hang out varies from day today and from week to week. In the beginning, before we were officially dating, he used to text me a couple of times a day but recently his texts have been slower and slower, to the point that I usually have to wait two days for him to text me back. This wouldn’t bother me that much if it wasn’t for the fact that I am a graduating master's student who also doesn’t have a lot of time in the week, and I usually only text him about when and or where to meet up next. So it’s kind of frustrating that I also cannot plan my week because his responses have been so slow. Also, this was from the beginning however, he is very private with his phone which I respect because we’ve only been dating for a short while and I literally have no business being in his phone anyway. But my previous relationship, ended with my ex cheating on me, also becoming distant and also kind of hiding his phone for me. Said, ex was a gaslighting and toxic person, and also the reason why I have trouble bringing up more serious topics in conversation in a relationship because he always start a narrative and made it look like I was starting a fight when I was just calmly trying to tell him what had been bothering me. I have never accused my current boyfriend of cheating (or been angry to him about the texting), but because of the way my previous relationship affected me I have becoming anxious about the fact that he might be cheating because of the way he’s texting behaviour has changed lately in combination with him being private about his phone on the regular. When I quickly tried bringing up in a conversation that his texting has been slower and slower, he apologised and told me that his work has been crazy lately. I would love to have a healthy conversation about this to either find a compromise or just at least have a talk about it because I don’t want him to feel pressured to text, but I also want to stop feeling anxious like this. I’ve talked about it a couple of friends and they don’t think he’s cheating and that I should be too anxious about this, but I thought it would help to get an outside perspective on this which is why I’m making this post. Thank you for any answers in advance. (FYI, I know I need to work on myself and my insecurities so please be nice to me lol)