HemispheresX1

I intend to. I certainly don't want to waste anyone's time as I don't want my own time wasted, however I always said no marriage in the past but when I met "the one" who eventually broke up with me I reconsidered so that might change.

Dating, eventual relationship, moving in together - basically a marriage without actually getting married and having children.

Maybe I should have clarified. Romantic Companionship. I'm not seeking someone to marry of have kids with so I just refer to it as companionship.

Yeah I'm not manic. Simply responding to people's comments. A manic flight of ideas is when a someone is running from topic to topic in SINGLE conversation. Not holding several conversations at once. I can manage my illness fine on my own thank you. I've been through enough *** due to poor management of it that I've learned how to properly care for my mental wellbeing.

Companionship. My full diagnosis is Bi Polar 1, Avoidant Personality Disorder and PTSD. So yes there's some abandonment issues in there, but I do find it easier for women to at least break off relationships unless the man wasn't emotionally invested to begin with. No reason for ya'll to get so butthurt.

I'm only two therapy sessions in. And my rhetorical questions were directed towards another member in regards to me ultimate goal of finding a partner.

Well if you think about it it's much easier for women to find a new mate than it is for men, so therefore it would be easier for women to walk away. Just a thought.

Just my observations from past relationships and most of the marriages in the family which have failed. Generally the in relationship (speaking from my experience) I love until I end up hurt and then it's over with for good. On the womans end once she's fed up (even though I did nothing wrong - she was an emotional wreck who constantly argued) she ends things. The only exception being my brief stint with a girl in high school who cussed me out because she left me behind in at a water park which ended up with me getting silver dollar sized blisters on my feet looking for her since I couldn't find my darned flip flops. She cussed me out because I asked another girl to get the lifeguard for me and apparently she was spying on me the whole dang time as if I had done something wrong when she's the one who walked off and left me. Anyways I broke things off with her immediately following that because I had nothing emotionally invested in the relationship. The family marriages on the other hand, the men were dropped like hot rocks. No mercy what so ever in most cases. I think one or two divorces were mutual but a few others were straight to the point. I specifically remember my Grandparents who raised me. At some point my grandmother who was a difficult woman to deal with made my grandfather go to couples therapy. Eventually this therapist suggested my grandfather was a bad father for working so much and not being there with his kids all the time. Eventually they split up and my grandfather was miserable as can be, but they decided to get back together because divorce was frowned upon in their religion and generation - also becasue they realized they did really love each other. So yes it can go both ways but my observations and past experiences lead me to believe men find it harder to walk away than women do.

Women tend to fall in love over time kind of unintentionally as a consequence of finding someone they really mesh with and see a future with. I hate to sound like an ass but they definitely don't love unconditionally like men do. This fact is fine with me.

Well daydreaming and hypersensitivity to rejection is part of my diagnosis and why I sought out therapy, but thanks for the analysis I guess.

I'm talking about both actually. I realize not all attempts to ask someone out may lead to this but that's the ultimate goal.

Don't encourage the guy to build muscle just to attract women. I'm not trying to be a *** but he needs to learn to be comfortable in his own skin. That's what my post was all about. Replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

With an age gap like that I wouldn't expect her either: A) Be interested or B) Want anything very serious I learned my lesson about chasing older women about 7 years ago. Never works out for anything other than sex.

Best suggestion of the thread. I don't see the one very often but the other one mentioned she would be volunteering a couple times a week. I'll use your suggestions with her and see how it goes.

Dually noted. And I don't like the term "pick up" it denotes someone just chasing a piece.

I've never wanted marriage or kids but nothing beats being in love. And as far as shyness goes I'm working on it with a therapist, basically instead of denying like I had for about a decade I just up and asked for some help one day and here we are.

I'm a bit shy around women in general so the only one's I really spend time with are the ones in my family and the one's at the shelter. No I'm not judgey or objectifying them at every turn. I tend to just make eye contact and pass right on by.

I'm saying I don't date people lacking in the smarts/common sense department in general. Dated a slightly LD sheltered girl once in my 20s, won't make that mistake again.

That's why I'm so nervous about asking her out, I figure she's got a boyfriend. And she seems pretty intelligent from the chit chat we had. Trust me, I don't do dumb blonde types. If that doesn't pan out there's always the other woman who just started last week to absolutely talked me half to death and has a healthy obsession with cats as well. She just moved to the area so my chances may be a bit better with her. Oh well, choices will be made.

She's a pretty girl but being into cats enough to get up at 7 in the morning and come clean smelly litter boxes and change linens for 3 hours is attractive to. This is why I was also planning coffee as opposed to a traditional date - we can chat a bit and ask each other questions. But psychical attraction is usually what comes first, isn't it? They're pretty, therefore you end up wanting to know them a bit better and hope it leads somewhere?

Here's what my therapist has me doing to try and overcome negative thoughts in regards to myself and relationships. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Aye, I was afraid of that. Well she isn't there very often so I'll have plenty of time to get over my jitters.

Quick question for the ladies. I'm 33 years old and have only dated like 4 people so I'm quite terrible at this but I'm wondering if this was an innocent smile I got last week or if it was something more. Anyways I volunteer with the cats at my local humane society 5 days a week, and last week there was this very attractive woman working with me on a Wednesday morning. After we finished up the cages she asked if there was anything else to do and I simply told her dishes and laundry to which she laughed and replied not her cup of tea. I wanted to playfully tease her lack of work ethic/enthusiasm but didn't want to seem like an ass so I just cracked a flirty smile and told her to take care. We kind of locked eyes for a couple seconds during which she smiled back and said thanks and headed out. I think about it a few times a week since and have been contemplating asking her out for coffee next time I see her but I'm not sure if I'm reading into that one moment too much. Thanks in advance.