getscared

19 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

End it. He is interested in dating others. He has no respect for you.

It this the same boy?:

 

yes 😞

ive been dating this guy for around a month now. i really really like him. today he got a dm on instagram from a girl who had apparently been watching him in school and was his "secret admirer". she was texting him all sorts of sexual nonsense (knowing he had a girlfriend) and was sending him really weird stuff. he showed me these texts and i thought it was a sort of prank, because it sounded really weird. it turned out that it wasnt a prank, and it was a real girl. she also dm'd me too and while she never was openly hostile towards me, i can tell she was being passive aggressive. i told him about this and he had apparently been talking to her and decided she was cool. he said she invited him over to her house and he said yes. this really triggered me. i got super angry and i asked him how he could go over to her house after he knew she was basically stalking him at school. i told him she clearly doesnt like me and shes going to try something with him. he tried to say that she doesnt hate me. i told him that i will fight for him but i refuse to fight OVER him, and i told him if hes not gonna get rid of her then he should let me know so i dont waste any more of my time with him. he blocked her after that. i cried for hours after that. but it still really pisses me off. the way he handled the situation really gets to me. and the messages he sent her piss me off too. he asked for pics of her. i just am not cool with the fact that he accepted her offer and was seriously planning to go to her house to do god knows what. he never fully apologized. after that he stopped replying to me and im guessing just went to sleep or something. i dont know what to do. im still really angry at him. should i just break up with him?

10 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He's 17 and you're 16 so you are both under age. Not every unwanted sexual advance is an assault. 

Learn now that when someone acts creepy you get dressed, get up and leave rather then just hang around with your pants off.

 Keep in mind it's not cute to put men in jail when you are not doing something to stop the situation and they are being stupid horny teen boys.

 Keep your clothes on until you see a doctor about appropriate exams, STD advice and contraception. BTW here's the partial list of STDs from oral since people do that unprotected from body fluids.

STIs commonly caught through oral sex are:

gonorrhoea

genital herpes

syphilis

human papillomavirus (HPV)

and i was 14 at the time and he was 17

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He's 17 and you're 16 so you are both under age. Not every unwanted sexual advance is an assault. 

Learn now that when someone acts creepy you get dressed, get up and leave rather then just hang around with your pants off.

 Keep in mind it's not cute to put men in jail when you are not doing something to stop the situation and they are being stupid horny teen boys.

 Keep your clothes on until you see a doctor about appropriate exams, STD advice and contraception. BTW here's the partial list of STDs from oral since people do that unprotected from body fluids.

STIs commonly caught through oral sex are:

gonorrhoea

genital herpes

syphilis

human papillomavirus (HPV)

it was a different ex lol not the one my previous posts were about 

i keep thinking abt the time i was with my ex boyfriend and he wanted to have sex. he took off my pants and i let him. he told me he wanted to give me oral and i told him i didnt want that. he said ok. but after that he immediately tried to give me oral again and i had to push him away and i told him i already said no. he said he "forgot" i said no and apologized. then he kept doing it again and again and i had to push him off everytime and tell him i dont want him to give me oral. it made me extremely uncomfortable how he kept forcing himself on me after i repeatedly said no but i tried to play it cool. i feel like im overreacting to some degree but i cant get it out of my head. ive blocked him but i havnt confronted him about this.

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

Why did your parents call the police? Did you tell them you were going to your boyfriend's house? Is he a lot older than you?

no hes only a year and 5 months older than me. they called the police because theyre really strict and i told them i was gonna be at a boys house.

my parents and i got into a really big fight today. i left the house and told them id be back later. i met with my boyfriend and we walked around together. my mom found me and made me go back with her. later at home i found out she had went to his house and saw his mom to check if i was there. i dont know exactly what she said but i know it was bad. after i got home, my boyfriend told me he didnt wanna be in a relationship with me if my parents dont trust him to be with me. he suggested we stay friends but i said i couldnt because my feelings for him are too strong. it hurts so bad. i definitely dont blame him. one time my mom called the police and sent a police unit to his house to get me. i know this is way too much for him. i know he doesnt deserve any of this. i know this is my mess and my mess only and i didnt mean to get him involved. but it still hurts so much. i feel like my world is ending. no matter how hard i tried to keep him, i still lost him in the end. ive cried so much already and it hasnt even been a full day yet. i just want him back but i dont know how to make anything better. i dont know how to get over it. i have no one else in my life to go to. the fact that i lost him because of them makes me hate my parents more than ever. i dont know how im gonna last here until i can legally move out. theyve already ruined so much of my childhood. i dont know what to do . i dont knw what to do to make anything better. he was the only thing i had left and now im all alone again.

hes literally lying about going to see another woman... trust me you will find better! someone who prioritizes you. its very clear to me you should leave him because hes not going to change. he sounds extremely manipulative and narcissistic. 

23 hours ago, globin said:

sorry, this is the first time i’ve used this platform, thought i’d give it a try since im desperate. Its a long one though! I recently came out of a relationship in which I didn’t put much effort in, I wasn’t in the greatest mental headspace for it, I couldn’t give her the reassurance she needed, she often felt unloved and uncared for but in reality I did care. She was devoted to me, completely obsessed with me and I knew that I didn’t reciprocate She broke up with me on the 6th of November and came back to me on the 9th asking if in a month we could talk again about things and take it from there. We ended up talking after that for over a week, things went great, apart from her telling me that her new housemate (female) tried coming onto her and had cornered her in a club and kissed her. This brought out insecurity and I couldn’t shake the feeling like I was being lied to and played. She’d always been loyal to me and wouldn’t even do so much as look at another guy. During the week we were talking again I constantly worried and asked about this girl and was met with the response that ‘they live together’ and it couldn’t be avoided, but reassured me that nothing would happen and they were just friends again. She broke up with me after that week, told me she loved me and I was so important in her life, wasn’t replaceable, all that stuff. Her way of coping she always said was to block all contact, and she did, which drove me mad, I made fake accounts, rang her to be met with her friends telling me she doesn’t want to talk to me, which left me with a devastating feeling like she hated me and I had no idea why. This went on until a few days ago, so about a month until I saw she changed her instagram picture to her & the housemate which sent me crazy, I called 100 times, spammed with messages through fake accounts just to get some answers as I felt so lied to and cheated on, in hindsight I can’t confirm they’re anything more than friends but it still hurt so badly. I tried to console myself today that I need to try to move on but its so hard with the loose end feelings that I don’t know if she thinks about me, still cares or if she’s moved on within a month with someone new. Just looking for some advice as to what to do, how to feel as I am completely devastated. I just wonder if she still thinks about me, still cares. The only thing pushing me forward is the hope that maybe in a few months I might have a chance to try again with her.

 

you took her for granted and now its too late to go back. best thing you can do is learn from this

5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

If there are troubles at home talk to trusted adults about it. Stop beating him up over this him, he's not your therapist.

Even though you're 16, he's only 17 and has his own things to worry about. If you  keep beating him up and putting him in no-win situations, arguing, accusing, etc., he's probably dump you.

 Learn now to stop abusing people and treat others with respect. Ask your parents to take you to a physician so you can speak to someone alone, confidentially about your troubles at home. 

its not like im treating him as my trauma dump. i dont talk to him about my issues that often anyway because i know hes not my therapist. but yesterday was really tough and i asked if i could talk to him, and he said YES and said i can always talk to him. if he didnt want me to tell him then why would he say yes? anyways by the way he acted during the conversation, i would have rather he said no anyway.

i was going through a rough time yesterday and i needed someone to talk to and i tried to talk to my bf about whats going on. he was very distant during this conversation. i asked him if he cared at all and he said he does care. i asked him if he cares then why doesnt he ever ask if im okay or whats going on with my home life. he said he does want to know, but he doesnt ask because hes afraid its not going well. i said "so youd rather just not know if im ok or not?" and he said again that he does want to know but he doesnt ask because hes 'worried'. i said he just doesnt like hearing about it, and he agreed and his excuse was "yeah im kind of an empath". this really upset me and i told him he doesnt need to worry anymore because im never gonna talk to him about my life anymore anyway. i just think if he really loved me and cared about me he would try to make sure im okay? idk. am i wrong here? am i expecting too much from him??

7 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Women young and older almost always are way ahead of the males in their romantic life.  We simply do not go at the same speed and we think way differently so slow down a little and let him catch up to where you are.  2 months and saying I love you is pretty quick for adults but young people tend to think they love someone when it isn't love just yet.

  As far as jealously as a gauge for love you need to rethink that right now.  I dated a wonderful woman whom I trusted completely because if I didn't she wouldn't be with me but she grew up with lets say a passionate family where arguments and jealousy were a sign of love when if fact it was dysfunction.  She is a gorgeous woman and guys hit on her constantly and she once got mad at me because she asked me to attend a coffee meeting about some work she was going to do with a guy that was clearly trying to get with her.  I trusted her and knew she could handle herself and frankly I am not her keeper so I declined. Like you she phrased it as I didn't love her as much as I should because I didn't want to kick the guys butt or go and mark my territory.  Relationships are about choices when you are right in front of each other but mostly when you are apart.  

Jealousy is not love, in fact if you truly loved him you wouldn't be jealous because there can be no true love without trust.

 Young guys are terrible at relationships until the women we date educate us on what it is all about.

Lost

 

i think ur right! i also grew up in a family like that and dated a lot of people with jealousy and control issues, so i guess thats why thats how i see love since this is the first time ive dated someone who isnt like that. 

18 minutes ago, Denise0203 said:

Some guys are just like that, but how often do you see each other and when you do, what do you do and are you enjoying each other's company?

i see him every day at school and we hang out sometimes after school. we mostly just watch stuff together or talk. i also see him at work since he works someplace near my house so i go see him there sometimes. yes we enjoy each others company. its nice when hes with me because though hes quiet he smiles a lot and hugs me a lot. but over the phone hes very distant

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok dating 60 days is a good time to observe and reflect how you feel about things and if you're a good fit.

You're fretting and unhappy and "feel unloved".

 How old is he? It sounds like you are overinvolved and overinvesting and he's just along for the ride for sex.

Cut your losses and quit while you're ahead. Why chase someone who acts like he doesn't care?

hes 17 and im 16 tho i dont think hes only with me for sex because we havnt even had sex yet. he tells me hes just socially awkward + hes busy a lot with school and work and thats why he doesnt talk to me often

i get jealous over my boyfriend. my boyfriend told me the he doesnt get jealous over me at all. he said he does get jealous but not about romantic or sexual relationships. we've been dating about 2 months. idk why but the fact that he said he never gets jealous really got to me. i think i like him more than he likes me. im always the one to initiate every time we meet up. he never goes out of his way to see me. hes pretty dry over text and he takes a while to reply too. it makes me feel kind of unwanted. i really love him and seeing him is the best part of my day but he doesnt talk to me much. ive talked to him about this but he reassures me that he does love me but hes just socially awkward. i really want to believe him but he just seems distant from me. does he not love me or is this just his personality???