urbangurl

I wish someone out there had all the answers. The one I'd really like to know is how long? How long before the pain goes away? How long before I can stop crying? How long before I stop feeling so vunerable? How long before I feel like living again? But I know nobody can tell me that...................

Thank you both for your replys. It wasn't an easy decsion for me to leave, even though i was miserable and there was absolutely on intamacy. Hasn't been in 10 years. I knew it would affect my kids which it has. They were the reason I stayed the last 10 years, so they had both parents. I still don't know if that was a mistake or not. Would thay have been better off if I had left when they were kids instead of wating until they were older? They know I was miserable, but they still can't understand why now after all these years I would leave. My divorce was fianlized 4 days after my 22 anniversary. I have had some counceling. I have been told that a divorce is like a death and you have to go through a process.... anger, grief, denial etc. It just seems like I can't get past where I am. I don't regret leaving, it's all just so strange. I have joined a gym and go workout, it helps a little. But most of the time, I stay home alone and cry. I know crying is a release, but it just doesn't seem to stop. I don't even know how to meet new people, friends. All my friends are married and with the divorce, I think they think it is contagious. They avoid me. That hurts alot too. People have told me go to bars, I don't drink and I don't think meeting someone there would be in my best interest right now. I am just so lost right now. I was glad i found this forum, talking does seem to help, it's a way to vent. Ironically, I don't hate him, even though he put me through a lot of abuse. I know he has issues. Nobody knows him like I do after 22 years. Thanks again for listening and responding..........

I was married for 22 years. The marriage ended years ago. I should have left then but was scared of trying to raise 3 kids on my own. So I stayed. There has been no marriage to speak of in years. My divorce is very recent. Even though I wanted the divorce and I left, it has been very painful. I don't understand that. My biggest fear has been the thought of spending the rest of my life alone now. So when I met this guy, I jumped right in and ended up crushed. I know now that was a stupid thing to do, but it still hurts especially each time I see him. In the divorce I lost pretty much all my friends. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, I just want to go on with life, but I don't know how. Can anyone tell me how I get through this?