Armyguy368

Well, I am attracted to here and yes she has committed to herself elsewhere. We talked like today and I see this ending. So in the long run I know it would be great for me to be in her mind. I am not expecting anything as I am searching at the moment for other woman as well.

I agree ShySoul. I am not somebody that is a pushover or can be walked on. I defend my terrority and my opinions at work all the time. I am a military guy with 31 years under my belt and have not gotten to where I am without pushing back and arguing my case with superiors when needed. I am a nice guy because I care about people and have empathy as well. Last week the woman at work is having issues with her long-distance boyfriend, it's coming to a close due to the distance. I was NICE enough to listen to her and help her with her racing thoughts, to comfort her. She is the one who said I am sweet and yes, she is the one I am attracted to, but she likes another guy in the office. I show respect to women because there are too many men out there that abuse women or are in a relationship and screw around with other women. Because they feel they can get away with it. Is that so nice to the other woman? No.

I am so tired of being passed over for other guys. I am always seen as the "Mr. nice guy". Its been like this since high school. I always seem to get interested a woman I like and then I am always put in the "friend zone" as she tends to date another guy. Its ripping my heart out each time. I suffer from depression and this brings me really down. So It takes me time to get out of the mood I am feeling (I am in therapy so you know dealing with my depression). I have a lot to offer a woman and always told I am sweet, but that nice, but it leads to nowhere. It seems I tend to like a woman who likes another guy and this is getting so old. I cant seem to find a woman that I like that fits what I am looking for without getting hurt all the time. Or I get to know a woman thinking this could lead somewhere and then I get friended and not into the boyfriend or I want to date you status. I am 53 and I feel time is running out. I am not going to date someone that I am not attracted to just to get sex, because that is not I want. Yes I want to get laid, but to someone that I am attracted to and vice sersa. I dont know what to do anymore and tired of being alone.

To Starlight and shysoul: I fully understand your replies. Why do I feel that I may have screwed up even though you said I did not? I am trying to make a great impression on her because we have such a good relationship. By saying she was older than she was, does not set a good impression. She does look younger in a photo that I tried to attach and she is very attractive. Anything could happen in the future and I would hope to have an opportunity to date her. I also said my age and feel as though I may be too old now as well. She can attract men who are 10 years younger as well I just feel that I always say something that can turn someone off and its usually someone that I am attracted to as well. Then comes the rejection that makes me upset as I have been rejected so many times in the past.

Ok. Great to hear. Thanks for the reply. I will leave this issue alone.

I talked to my sister about this and she said I should possibly write a small note to say that I am sorry to have offended her and make her uncomfortable by telling her she was older than she wanted to hear. My thoughts are this was last Friday and this should have been done on Friday night. If I do tomorrow (Monday), I feel it makes me seem insecure as well. I know I have self-esteem and insecurities that I am trying to deal with a therapist which I have been dealing with for years, especially dealing with women.

Thanks for your reply. This was a great reply to my issues. If I dont read body language, then I feel that she does enjoy my company. I am a good listener as many people say. Its just for me not to have feeling for someone that I have such a great connection and would like to have a relationship with, but have to realize that it will not turn into anything for various reasons. She does look like she is in her 30s after looking at her photos on Facebook. So, by saying someone is older than what they say can offend people and then turn their backs on you as well. So, I took hard because I really like her and realized I said the wrong thing and coping to move on. I just have to face working with her when I go back to work tomorrow as well.

So, you say I am hitting on her. Well, I am not really hitting on her as you say. We have great conversations with one another. Also, she invites me into her space, gives me high fives, etc. So, it's a strong connection. The issue is I am very attracted to her and I do have to work with her constantly due to my job. Its not like she works in another part of the building or office and I can just ignore her for the day. I also realize that I am attracted to women with whom I can't have a relationship. She has a long-distance lover and I work with her. So, I am realizing this after talking to people on this site. I meet women all the time that I am attracted to but can't have and that's one of my issues. As for going to dating sites, those do not work because those are based on looks first and I dont find myself attractive being bald. I have also tried social activities, but fail at them as well and ask women out but get rejected there as well. So, this is a never-ending circle that seems to never end.

I know what you are saying. So hard to turn away someone that you have so much in common and easy to talk to as well. After today, I will try to be professional and listen when she wants to chat. But I realized asking her for coffee put the nail in the coffin as a way to tell myself to stop!

So, I know reading a woman's body language is very difficult at times for men. Men can take a specific body language wrong. I have searched online to read a friend's body language. Usually, she is very open to chatting, laughing, etc. But when we talked about age, I guessed that she was 45 since she told me that and had kids when she was 20 years old. My friend said the right thing and said, she looked 36 and she smiled. But I am too honest and said the wrong thing. She asked how old I thought she was during the interview when she came into an interview for a job at an hour company. I said in her 40s. I feel as though she took offense to that and I got read and embassed. I apologized to her, but I could tell she was offended by my comment on her age. I guess that is why you never ask a woman's age or you always tell her the age that is 10 years less than what you think. So, we usually have good conversations when I stop by the desk to chat during my break. Well, today, I noticed she had put both her knees to her chest when sitting in her chair. Usually its one knee or sitting relaxed and open. She also in the past turns her chair to talk to me as well. Well, when I was talking to her at the end of the day before heading home, she had both her knees to her chest. Is this a sign of her wanting to close herself off to me after my comment about her age? I also asked her out for coffee and she rejected with a nice way to let me down which I felt was a nice way to say no. I gotten to know her and she goes out for coffee on weekends, but said she could not afford to go this weekened due to trying to save money. I know I am overthinking this as I have issues of insecurity and am tired of being alone. So, when I say something that offends someone, it affects me mentally or is rejected for a no-strings coffee meet-up. This is why I need therapy, but having a hard time getting an appointment with the VA (that is another story). I am too fixed on things like this and don't know how to handle this. Any advise regarding the body language and the age issue. Thanks

So, I have been working with a woman for the past month who came to work as a temp. I was attracted to her when she came into the interview. Since she started working, we have had such a good vibe and connection. You know that feeling when you have a great connection and it makes you happy inside. Well, this woman makes me feel this way. She is attractive (natural beauty who doesnt wear much makeup - shes from Guam), has a great personality, loves to laugh, and the body that I am seeking in a woman. The main thing is the connection I feel we both have with one another. The catch, yes a catch, she has a long-distance boyfriend who is 3000 miles away. So, I know to tread lightly with her. We connect so well, that I find out more about her everyday. I realize that I am getting caught up into more than what will come about. I am also not one to break up anyone's relationship, as I have had that happen to me. I am just bonding as friend at the moment. I feel she puts out the body language in regards to always laughing at my jokes, asking me about my life, what I do on weekends, shows interests in what I like and saying to me, sounds great, I have never done that before (could this be a sign of interest to do something with me?). She lets me into her space when working on puzzle books together, looks straight into my eyes, moves her body toward me when I talk to her, etc. I have a big crush on her, but its hard that I cannot be more than a friend at the moment. Id like to be the guy she leans on if she breaks up with her boyfriend who lives 3000 miles away. I guess I am having a hard time with her because she is not like anybody I have met in the past and I have been in multiple relationships and fell in love twice. Its like that girl or guy that you feel would be the one if given the chance. I am just lost on how to deal with her. I have to work with her daily and keep my distance as much as I can as well. But when we get to talking, we could talk for hours I feel. She is 46, divorced and I am single, 52. Id like to ask her for coffee to have more time to chat, since we have not time at work. I need a females perspective and advice.